Upon His Return
by cottonsocks
Summary: Is it possible for the dead to rise? Was he even dead in the first place? Adoriana finds out in this sequel to While I Live I serve. Rated M for language and sexual thingies. NnoitraxOC, suggested UlquiorraxOC AND Ulquixhime
1. Chapter 1

_... It's here! A week late, but I finally wrote the first chapter. The first chapter is always the most difficult, I think._

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**Chapter 1- Start**

Weeks and months passed grudgingly, minutes sticking to hours disgustingly and making life seem longer and more futile than the previous second. How long ago was it that Nnoitra died? Two… three years? No. Five months. One thing I had learnt was that being an Espada wasn't as easy as I had expected it to be. Endless paperwork, always being called into meaningless Espada meetings, and being sent on missions accompanying other Espada such as Ulquiorra, Yammy and Isadora.

I've also learnt that Isadora Demetrios, Septima Espada, has taken a great disliking to me. If looks could kill, I would be dead a thousand times. She is a mischievous, malicious bitch who would do anything to kill me and take my place. The one time we were sent into the desert of Hueco Mundo together on some weird assignment, she sonidoed off and left me confused and rather lost while she carried out the task in seconds and returned to Las Noches without me. I was heavily reprimanded for my unsupportive role in the job, and was never allowed to mention that I didn't get a chance to help her at all. The smile on her face when Aizen was giving me an ear-full was so mean it hurt just looking at it. The thing is; I don't even hate her. I don't hate anyone… except the Shinigami who decided to come to Las Noches and kill Nnoitra.

During the last Espada meeting held, Aizen asked for a volunteer to go on a mission in the Gensei, keeping track of how many Shinigami patrolled this particular town on a regular basis and killing anyone who became a threat. No one put their hand up. There was a lot of uncomfortable and awkward shifting about and ahem-ing, but still no one volunteered.

"I will, Aizen-sama." I said with an inward sigh, thinking that going to the Gensei would mean some alone time.

"Thank you, Adoriana. Who will accompany you on this mission?" Aizen replied, leaning on his right hand as usual and waiting keenly for my reply.

"I'll go on my own, Aizen-sama." I said confidently, hoping that he wouldn't force me to go with someone else.

"Unfortunately that isn't an option. You are a new member of the Espada, you must gain my trust before you go out on your own. I suggest you ask Ulquiorra to accompany you. However, I will leave the decision up to you. Meeting over." Aizen said with finality, standing up and leaving the room with Tousen and Ichimaru. I sat fidgeting with my hands under the table, all other Espada staring at me expectedly.

"Well? Who are you going to choose, Adoriana?" Szayel perked up, honey coloured eyes gleaming through those rectangle glasses of his. I looked up at everyone through my fringe, trying to hold back from blushing madly.

"Um, Ulquiorra I guess." I said finally, leaning over the table to look past Starrk, who wasn't remotely interested. I saw Ulquiorra sigh and look up to the ceiling, as if to say 'why me?'

The other Espada lost interest immediately, all standing up and leaving the room. The chairs were left messily around the table, no one bothering to push them in. I moaned and stood up, walking around the table and pushing all the chairs in. The only person still in the room was Ulquiorra, still sitting silently in his place.

"Ulquiorra, when do we have to go?" I asked, stopping by him and looking into his greener than green eyes. They still hypnotize me to this day. He looked at me as if he couldn't believe my stupidity.

"Immediately, of course."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It didn't take long to realise how horribly boring and tense this week in the Gensei would be. Sighing heavily, I threw myself on what would be my bed for the next week. It was surprisingly comfortable, and I curled up under the thick white duvets just for a few minutes, trying to contemplate what I would do while I was there. I came up with a very precise list: Eat, sleep, read and cook. I'm guessing its odd for an Espada to cook… but I'm also guessing that I'm no ordinary Espada. The fact that I'd prefer being Nnoitra's Fraccion again to being the Quinta Espada proves it.

A few minutes turned into a few hours, and Ulquiorra was forced to wake me up.

"Adoriana. Am I correct in thinking that you cook?" He asked, looking around my messy bedroom in which I had simply thrown all the clothes I would have to wear.

"You would be." I replied with a hint of cheek, pulling the duvet over my head. I wasn't wearing anything underneath, and there was no way I was letting the straight-faced Cuatro seeing me naked.

"Then get up and cook something. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but these gigai of ours need to eat." As soon as the words rolled out of his mouth, his stomach gave an almighty growl. "I'm leaving now. I expect food to be on the table in an hour."

Falling out of bed, I grabbed some clothes at random and put them on, padding out into the kitchen and beginning to cook up something reasonably yummy. Urgh. I'm already bored. Life without him is boring. Very, very extremely supremely unbelievably boring.

I have also just been told that I am to start some sort of job tomorrow morning, just for the week. It's to make us 'seem more human'. Sure. It's probably just a little idea of Ichimaru that seemed rather funny. Still though, I wonder what job I've been given?

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**A/N: **_Sorry for not updating for ages. I dropped my laptop and now I have a sexy broken screen. And also, I'm desperatly trying to think of super-interesting ideas for this fic! Um... any ideas? Haha yeah, I'm asking. Does that make me stupid? ;~; Cottonsocks_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Oh no. Oh no no no, this is not a good job. How on earth could Aizen expect me to be a personal assistant to the manager!? I don't even know how to work a computer, let alone have the ability to control my temper with a stuck-up, over-demanding manager. Then again, I have to do it all the time with Aizen himself, and the other Espada. I have to say, it's very difficult keeping what seems like trillions of emotions pent up inside of you all the time. If I were to let them out, who knows what I'd end up doing? No doubt, I would become totally irrational and would snap at the smallest things… no, I don't want to go there. I guess I'll just have to put up with this job with the best of my abilities. That's all I can do, right?

Breakfast was disgusting; there is nothing in this apartment but bread and eggs. So I made egg fried bread… it didn't work out very well. The hob is all modern and odd, unlike the straightforward ones in Hueco Mundo which run off of spirit particles. Ulquiorra seemed to enjoy it enough, but I wonder what kind of crap he eats in Hueco Mundo. When I used to cook for Nnoitra, he told me that he'd usually live off of other hollow which incidentally tasted like 'shit'. As far as eating hollow goes, I've only ever consumed a few and every one of them really did taste disgusting. They taste a hell of a lot better cooked.

I threw half of my soggy bread in the bin, brushing off Ulquiorra's remark about it being a waste of food. There was fifteen minutes before I had to be at the offices, and that included the train journey I had to take. No way was I going to be on time. Rushing through the apartment like a headless chicken I slipped on a pleated skirt and plain white blouse, speedily saying goodbye to Ulquiorra before bolting out of the door.

The streets of Tokyo were packed full of teens on their way to school, straight-faced business men (some of which were deliciously gorgeous) and families rushing to open their family shops. I knew it was rude to do so, but I had to push past everyone to get on the train. I was already half an hour late. When I finally arrived, I tried to sneak in without being noticed.

"Oi! Is she 'ere yet!?" A voice called from a closed off office behind me. I automatically guessed that person was talking about me, so I began to open the door. A hand landed on my wrist.

"I wouldn't if I were you. Are you Miss Hertz?" Said the owner of the hand. It was a woman, a few inches taller than me with oddly hypnotizing eyes. They were a stony turquoise, and her hair was ashy blonde. She was wearing no makeup and was even more flat-chested than me… but she was pretty.

"Yes, I'm Adoriana Hertz. Sorry I'm late."

She had already turned away, and was busy clearing a desk which was covered in paper and books. I noticed that her attire was much more professional that my own; a milky-grey pencil skirt which stopped at the knees, a tight black blouse with ruffles around the collar, black stilettos and various pieces of jewellery.

"Listen, Adoriana. You can't afford to be late again this week, the boss will go mad. He's angry enough as it is." She said softly, tidying the last of the papers away into the silver mesh bin.

"Um, like I said, I'm sorry. And who might you be?" I asked impatiently, standing with my hands on hips and looking around the office in an expectant way. It was another strictly modern place, just like the rest of the buildings in Tokyo. All the walls were white, ditto with the desks, chairs and computers. The only splashes of colour were the employees, dotted around sparsely like flowers in a desert.

"Don't get short-tempered with me, Miss Hertz. I'm Tillie, Assistant manager. I've been working here a whole year, and I know the boss very well. Now, follow me. I'll give you a quick tour and then explain your job."

I am most certainly not enjoying this.

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**A/N: **_Sorry for the long wait; I dropped my laptop down the stairs and... well, you can guess the results of that. Took me a while to get the document, then ff wouldn't upload it for ages T_T'' Anyway, enjoy ^_^_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Turns out that no one sees the boss. He's heard, but not seen. No one knows his name but Tillie, and he only does meetings by intercom. All day long, my desire to see his face had gotten to the point where it was almost unbearable. During my lunch break, all the girls were gossiping about suspected 'boss-sightings'. I sat in my corner munching on shop-bought biscuits (since I had no idea I had to bring a lunch with me) and eaves-dropping on their conversation.

"I saw him going to the toilet yesterday, he's got short black spiky hair and chestnut coloured eyes…"

"No he doesn't! Remi, you're such a liar."

"Tsuki, didn't you say you saw him as well?"

"Well I _think_ so; he was so hot and looked at me like he wanted me badly."

"Oh give it a rest; the boss would never sleep with any of us… he likes the big shots, doesn't he?"

"Who knows? Oh fuck, we're late. C'mon we gotta go."

And with that, the four of them scurried off in their tighter than tight dresses and skirts, probably in hope that they'll bump into him. Although I thought they were stupid, I wanted to see this 'boss' myself. He sounded mysterious.

For the rest of the day, I sat at my desk, sorting papers and signing bits and bobs. Basically, the same thing I did back in Hueco Mundo. It was boring but necessary. Every half an hour or so, Tillie would slip in and out of the boss's office, each time exiting with a sigh.

"What _is_ the problem, Tillie? You should be happy; you're the only one who ever gets to see the boss." I whispered somewhat loudly as she closed his office door for the eighth time that day.

"My problem is, Adoriana, that he wants me to do so much work its inhuman." She complained, throwing down a stack of paperwork and rubbing her temples. "I'm exhausted, Adoriana. Completely exhausted. It's only 6pm, I'm meant to be working until 10pm this evening. What am I going to do?" She said desperately, eyes beginning to shine with new tears. I was in an odd situation. As an Espada, I never see people cry.

"G… Go home. Go home Tillie, I'll cover your shift." I said finally with a deep sigh. Tillie sniffed and looked up at me. She suddenly looked very familiar. "I'm serious. Go home."

She mouthed a 'thank you' and gathered her things, standing up and almost hobbling out. As she walked out of the door, I realised that her figure wasn't as womanly as I had expected it to be. She was straight up and down. But there was no time to linger on the thought. The boss was calling.

"Yo Tillie! Get yer ass in here, I wanna chat."

I stiffened up in my seat. Tillie had literally just left the building.

"Tillie! Move it!"

"Um, um, in a minute!" I called back, fiddling around with bits on my desk and trying to gather myself.

"No, no no no. Now."

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**A/N: **_Woo! I got online, finally! Sorry for the super-long wait guys. I know it's not a long one... but hey, a chapter is a chapter, right? I just started 6th form so I'm seriously busy (but having fun too :D), but I'll try update this as often as I humanly can! Enjoy, yo! Hahaha. CottonSocks_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

My hand stiffened as I reached for the boss' door handle, not knowing what to expect when I opened it.

"Hey. You ain't Tillie, are ya?" The boss grunted from inside his office. I hadn't even entered the room, and yet he had somehow detected that I was an intruder.

"No sir. I sent Tillie home, she was unwell and besides, she said I co-"

"You did _what?_" He growled through what sounded like gritted teeth.

"I sent her home, sir." There was a momentary silence before the sudden squeaking of chair wheels and heavy footsteps thumping quickly towards the door behind which I was standing. A deep, husky voice bellowed through the ajar door, practically blowing my head off and forcing tears to my eyes.

"You fucking cunt! She had work to do ya know! Fuck sake; I know why ya sent her home. Ya just wanna find out who I am, don't 'cha, ya little whore? Well I got a message for ya: fuck the fuck off to ya fucking little house and fuck yourself. Go on. Piss off."

And with that, he slammed the door shut, crushing my fingers in the process and went back to his work. Sliding to the floor, I picked up a piece of paperwork that Tillie had left for me to do. There was a small yellow sticky note on it which I hadn't noticed at first. As I read it, the tears that had been prickling my eyes poured out in full flow, the realisation of just how horrible this week would be hitting me like Yammy with a toothache.

_"Adoriana. Did you really think I would let you handle the boss without me around? Don't make me laugh. If you think you can march in here with your pretty little ass and your pretty little face and make the boss fall for your fake I'm-so-innocent act, you're very much mistaken. _

_Let's get one thing straight here. The boss loves me. The boss comes home to me every night and we sleep together. I fuck him. You don't. So get on with your work and stop trying to pry into everything, you slutty little whore._

_I can see straight through your act. It's not going to work._

_Tillie."_

My bag was on my shoulder, half-empty but containing a mobile phone which Ulquiorra had given me upon arrival in the Gensei. As I took it out of the bag and dialled his number, I looked around the office to make sure it was empty… and then I left. I'd already made my mind up.

I quit.

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**A/N:**_ Yay angst. Thanks for waiting for the next chapter; life sure is busy! I'll post two chapters especially for you guys (^_^) Love you all! Enjoy! CottonSocks_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"You cannot quit. It is not an option. You must return to the workplace tomorrow morning and apologise for your unauthorised absence this evening." Ulquiorra droned, taking no notice that I was on the brink of tears yet again.

On the way 'home', I had stopped off in a deserted park and sat on a swing, crying my eyes out untill I was sure there were no more tears to be cried. How wrong I was. The situation was helpless; my workmates hated me, my boss hated me, the Espada hated me, and now Ulquiorra was getting extremely bored of my needy behaviour, begging him to explain to Aizen why I couldn't return to work.

"Ulquiorra. You simply don't understand… you're not like me. I may be the Quinta, but as far as I'm concerned I've already failed at that! In this situation, I am utterly useless! Stick me in a café as a cook, or put me in a supermarket where I can check stock… but I _can't_ be a manager assistant!" I cried, squeezing the pillow next to me almost to death (if pillows could die, that is). Ulquiorra looked at me, looked at the kitchen, and spoke.

"It's late. Cook."

Why!? Why does everyone have to be so _heartless_? Or is it me, with too much heart? Urgh, I have tired myself with these questions hundreds of times before, and never answered them. We are Hollow. We are not meant to feel emotions… but that's just a load of rubbish. Take Grimmjow for example. When he fights, he wants to win. He is determined. Being determined means he must have emotions, am I correct? Maybe each of the Espada holds one particular emotion… I'm not even going to start thinking about what they are. But mine must be somewhere along the lines of love or compassion… something useless and gooey.

Traipsing into the kitchen, I began to rustle up something especially for Ulquiorra. Why make the effort? Who knows? I guess I just don't like purposely making a bad meal. While cooking, I felt a sudden rush of stupidity, realising that the boss would have notice my early exit, and now I would have to return the next day and apologise.

As I handed Ulquiorra his dinner, I decided to have one more bash at asking him about quitting that job.

"Ulquiorra, if you could just consi-"

"No."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

I woke up early this morning and found something a little more appropriate to wear for the day. Unfortunately, it was crumpled and needed to be ironed badly. Considering that it was five in the morning, I assumed Ulquiorra would be asleep in his bedroom, and would not notice if I snuck out into the living room in a t-shirt and bra to iron the dress. However, because I am unlucky and rather stupid (sometimes), I did not think for a second that perhaps Ulquiorra had been given a job too. Which he had. And this is why he was sitting at the kitchen table when I walked in.

"… Why would you walk in here like that Adoriana?" He asked somewhat surprised as I backed out of the kitchen in embarrassment. He had yesterday's newspaper in both hands and was reading it with his breakfast, trying to ignore me faffing around in the living room with a fiddly ironing board and a dodgy iron.

"Honestly," he began, coming to the door and staring at me in dismay. "What on earth are you doing?" He had a good point. I was not familiar with the modern appliances, seeing as all my clothes were ironed for me in Las Noches. Either that or they were eternally creaseless.

"Well, Ulquiorra, I'm trying to iron my work outfit for today. Would you care to help me?" I asked, fumbling around with a cable and trying to figure out which socket it fitted into. Ulquiorra stood stationary for a few seconds before making his way through the living room, and- to my complete and utter amazement- helpfully showing me how everything worked. I'm still not completely sure how he knew what went where, but I didn't mind. "Thank you." Was all I could bring myself to say. I hadn't expected him to _help_ me.

"You're welcome. Now put something on and get out of my sight, before I vomit." He retorted quickly, not wanting me to take his gesture of kindness to heart. Am I really that ugly with hardly anything on? Oh dear.

For some reason, navigating through the city centre was much easier that the previous day, I didn't know being Tuesday made such a huge difference. As I entered the building, the time was exactly half-past eight, so I was half an hour early. Time to apologise, I thought.

"Morning, Tillie. Do you feel any better today?" I asked the blonde, getting more and more agitated as the seconds passed and she did not reply. "I said _good morning Til- _oh forget it."

At that, she swung round in her chair and stared me straight in the face with an expression of determination. She obviously still thought I was after her precious boss.

"I hope you read my note, Adoriana. It was very important." She said, a tiny mischievous smile marking her usually straight face.

"Yes, I read your note. Before you begin thinking the wrong thing, I don't care about getting the boss. I'm here to work for one week, that's it."

The smile on her face vanished at once, and she was on her feet. Not for one second did she believe me.

"Just remember, Adoriana, that I have much more authority here than you do, and I can make your week here a living hell if I so choose. Remember that." And with that, she had disappeared into the boss's room leaving me with a pile of paperwork on my desk. Shortly after, numerous noises were heard from his office… I'd rather not go into details.

"Scream it! Go on! Scream my fuckin' name!"

Urgh. I wish those office walls were sound-proofed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Time goes fast when you're having fun. So logically, time should go slowly when you're _not_ having fun. Well, that isn't true in my case. The past five days have whizzed past so quickly I barely noticed that we've been in the Gensei almost one week now. And that's how long we were meant to stay here; one week.

"Freedom soon. Thank God, I don't know how much longer I can put up with work." I muttered to myself, sticking the wooden spoon in the soup I'd just been boiling up. Ulquiorra sat un-interested in the bone-white armchair in the corner of the living room, pen in hand and writing up some sort of report for Aizen. After bowling it up, I brought the soup out to Ulquiorra and waited beside him, expecting some sort of sign of gratitude, which I did not receive. I almost like an unworthy housewife, cooking and cleaning for my 'Lord'.

"Actually, Adoriana…" He began, spooning the boiling hot soup into his mouth and winching a little when he realised just how hot it was. "Aizen-sama spoke to me today. We are to stay another three days."

I took a step back, too quickly and dropped my own soup on my foot. Another three days!? What for? We haven't even accomplished anything in the past five days we've been here; in fact, I've lost account of what we even came here for in the first place!

"Ulquiorra! Oh God, can't we just go home now? I'm fed up of this place; I'd rather slice my arm off than stay here another three days." I complained, falling to the floor and wiping the steaming hot soup off my foot with my sleeve.

"Be my guest, Adoriana. Besides, it is not my choice weather we stay or not. It is ultimately Aizen-sama's decision." He replied blankly, not even looking up. "And don't clean that off with your sleeve, get a towel."

Curled up in my bedroom, I shoved my head in my hands and sighed. The past five months had been horrible, and I'd thought this week would have been a chance to get away from it all. But it's turned out to be even worse than I could have expected.

Days passed where I did nothing in Las Noches; and that place isn't half boring when you're not given any work. Obviously, I'd never realised how dull a place it was… I had Nnoitra. Or, he had me. Either way, we both had something to do practically all the time. However, just a week after being appointed to Espada rank, I found that there's only so much paperwork you can do. I also found that everyone hates me. Okay, maybe not _hate_, but they certainly haven't taken a liking to me. When there are meetings, everyone looks around as if to say 'Where's Nnoitra?'

He's dead! He's dead, for God's sake, he's dead. Every little thing reminds me that yes, Nnoitra is dead. For example, the bangles on my wrists were his. They jingle every time I move, loose around my wrists. It's stupid actually, because every time they make a noise I think 'oh shit, Nnoitra's coming'.

I haven't cried since he died (hey, that rhymes). It's almost as if I can't cry… I only cried for Nnoitra. It's stupid crying for him now, right? Although I have to say, the main reason why I hate the Gensei so much is… it _feels_ like he's around. I can almost feel his presence wherever I am, and it's worse when I go out. I don't know what it is; it must just be the air or something. But I hate it and I want to go home.

I want to go home!

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**A/N:**_ No, I haven't been updating as often recently, and I feel ashamed for it! But my God, 6th form is just like one giant essay! I have a week off now though so hopefully there will be a few more submissions. Don't stop reading guys! 8D Cottonsocks (p.s. I wrote this in my English class... I finished my coursework early [i.e. I got bored])_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

I've realised that it isn't just me who wants to return home. He might look the same all the time, but it's the tiny things he does or doesn't do reveals how he's feeling. I think it's odd that despite being surrounded by 'lesser beings' as it was, we are still seen as abnormal and a minority, therefore making us feel somewhat inferior. For example, when I leave work for my lunch break, I find the people of Tokyo staring at me as they walk past. I've even been told that my eyes are 'abnormally green'. Wasn't quite sure how to take that.

"She… is very pale." Ulquiorra stated quietly, taking a sip of tea and returning his stare to the television screen. Of course, he was not wrong. The actress on the screen was in fact pale… however she was nowhere near the chalky white complexion that Ulquiorra sported so proudly.

"Yes, she is. And why, may I ask, did you feel the need to tell me that Ulquiorra?" I asked, leaning back in the sofa opposite the Cuatro. Immediately, I got the feeling that he was trying to point that he was not in fact the only pale-skinned 'human' on the face of the earth. And to some extent, he was right- there _are_ a lot of ivory-skinned people around. However… none quite surpass Ulquiorra's almighty white skin.

Ulquiorra looked up at me through wisps of coal black hair, his eyes sparkling an electric green in the glow of the television. It was as if his eyes became the screen; they grabbed my attention and had me fixated until he realised what I was trying to do.

"Adoriana, I'd rather you didn't sit there and psychoanalyse my words. If you're just going to sit there all evening and gawk at me, I'd suggest you go and do something else."

I did not take that lightly. However, recognising that Aizen put him in charge and not me, I thought better than to take him up on it. Besides, I doubt I would have done anything about it even if I had been put in charge.

"Honestly, I'm not trying to 'psychoanalyse' you. At any rate, there isn't much else to do here, is there?" I complained nonchalantly, trying to be as polite as I possibly could do whilst being totally bored.

Five minutes later and I'm traipsing down the street outside, coat on and boots zipped up. Ulquiorra 'kindly' suggested that I go out. In other words, I was annoying him and therefore I had to go away. There I go again, 'psychoanalysing' him… although any person could see what he was doing there.

It's only early October, and whilst the days are pleasantly warm, the temperature began to drop rapidly as soon as the clock hit 6pm. I had a huge pebble-gray scarf on with a matching bobble hat and mittens, along with a milk-white coat and knee-high boots.

I wasn't sure where to go on a Friday night… this probably sounds ridiculous but bear in mind I'm not much of a party-get-drunk-and-laid kind of person. All around me were girls in ass-short skirts and tops that revealed so much they'd look less slutty if they'd been naked. I felt rather out of place in my over-the-top winter wear, being pushed to the side of the pathway by tall dancer girls and guys with overly spiky hair.

The streets were lit rather spectacularly; purple and mint green fairy-lights glittering away in the trees and the clubs and bars sporting their luminous signs. I saw myself in a reflection and sighed; I've never looked so vulnerable in my life. The group of clubbers behind me towered over me, jumping about in the street with their neon lights and whistles strapped around their neck. Beside me, a door opened and the clubbers huddled in. The only problem was… I seemed to merge in with them, and I tumbled into the club with them. It didn't even matter that I wasn't on the list (if there was a list).

And now I'm sitting confused and partly deaf at the bar, trying to work out who took my coat and how to send a text message to Ulquiorra. The music is so loud it's as if it's vibrating my intestines or something… I feel rather sick actually.

"Excuse… excuse me? Excuse me! Sir… hello?" I bellowed at the barman, who looked evilly cunning and was probably the person who stole my coat.

"Yeah hunny, what are ya havin' to drink?" He asked, drying out a mug in the way you'd expect a barman to in a cheesy film.

"Nothing, I just want to find out where the door is in this place!" I replied, looking around the club and furrowing my eyebrows when all I saw were people.

"What? Can't quite hear ya darlin'."

"The door! Where is the door!?"

"You what?"

"Oh piss off."

I clambered off of the bar stool and ambled through the crowd, emerging beside the toilets with yet another piece of clothing missing. I swear, the one single aim of these clubs is to undress people. Now I only had my skirt, vest top and scarf on. Hmph, some girl is going to be walking out of here with my hat, gloves and scarf on.

"Oi, will ya move outta the fuckin' way?" I turned around to see who I was moving for, and caught but a glimpse of long black hair and narrow, indigo eyes.

"N… Nnoitra…" I choked, staring at the tall, slim silhouette fading into the crowd. Of course, it wasn't Nnoitra. Why on earth would he be here? But… it would explain why I've been feeling as if he's next to me the past few days. Wait, what the hell am I thinking? For God's sake.

Dear lord, I'm obsessed.

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**A/N-**_ A super-long chapter to make up for the time between submitting new chapters! My laptop is fixed now, so hopefully I'll get to submitting chapters quicker now. Hope you enjoyed it :D CottonSocks_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"Will you stop incessant babbling; it is utter nonsense and to be honest, I'm rather fed up with it, Adoriana."

And with that, he closed the door to his bedroom, leaving me confused and hurt standing outside in the hallway. I began to question myself. Why had I told Ulquiorra about my supposed sighting in the club? In fact, why was I talking to him about things like this anyway?

Besides, Ulquiorra is right. It _is_ nonsense, and even I'm getting fed up of hearing myself ramble on and on about Nnoitra and how he's alive… how stupid can I get!? I saw him die, for goodness' sake. I should calm down, go get myself a cup of tea and busy myself with reports and such. Anyway, I need to get some rest; I have to go back to work tomorrow and apologize for leaving when I shouldn't have… even though he clearly told me to 'fuck off'. I honestly don't see why I should have to apologize, but I'll do it anyway. I think Ulquiorra is expecting me to, he knows I'm that kind of person.

Wouldn't it be brilliant if I became the kind of person who doesn't take any shit from anyone? Probably isn't possible, but it's nice to dream of it. All the Espada would recognise me and the ones below me would have respect for me… even Isadora. Heh, I'm grinning just thinking about it. Although it's nice enough for the numeros and my Fraccion to call me 'Adoriana-sama'. It's sort of odd, after saying 'Nnoitra-sama' so often, to actually have 'sama' attached to my name is probably one of the best parts of being an Espada. Everything else is just a chore.

Ah, cup of tea. Lovely. Now I can sit and get some work done… he really did look like Nnoitra, didn't he? I mean, who else has hair like that? Who else has eyes like that? Urgh. Lots of people could have hair like that, who am I kidding? But no one would have the combination along with the same figure as his… oh God, let me sketch him out.

The hair.

The eyes.

The grin…

"Adoriana, did I not tell you to stop all of this? Look at yourself. You are crying over a sketch. Put it away, and forget about it. Get on with something else this instant, before you get me angry."

I crumpled the paper in the palm of my hand and shoved it in my pocket, gulping down the last few sips of tea before retreating to my bedroom. Forget about it? How… how does he expect me to forget it? Oh. I forgot, this is the man who has no feelings, and he who has no feelings certainly cannot understand those of another. Ulquiorra of all people should know how I bent to every one of Nnoitra's commands; for some reason he always seemed to be around in my past. I'm guessing he doesn't understand why I feel the way I do about Nnoitra; after all he only ever saw the torture he put me through.

Maybe… I should have come here with Szayel Aporro. Even he couldn't turn down a good experiment; I could get some hair or something from this guy and get him to run some tests on it. Then again, how would I find this guy again? I wonder if he's a regular at that bar… I should go there again. Soon. Tomorrow, even. Maybe he'll recognise me. Ah, but maybe he'll think I'm a stalker. Well I'm not a stalker so it's okay, right? Or should I just get over myself?

I… I… I'm really confused. What the hell am I meant to do in this situation!? No one will believe that this guy is Nnoitra even if it _did_ look like him, besides, I saw him go down. I watched him die. And unless God was feeling particularly generous that day, I highly doubt he's been resurrected somehow. I could be wrong. I could be right.

Fine. That's it; the only way to prove myself is to look into this further. No way am I going to be able to fucking sleep tonight (ooh, language). Thanks a lot, brain.

------------

**A/N: **_I realised I write short chapters. Seriously sorry about that. Maybe I'll make them longer next ti- no. Longer chapters= boring endless pointless rambling. Hope you enjoyed C10 anyway. CottonSocks_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Despite the growing curiosity in my mind as to who the figure in the club was, I knew I had to get through one more day of work before I could make my way back there and begin my search.

Forcing my eyelids open at what felt like an unearthly time in the morning, I smacked the beeping alarm beside my bed and tumbled to the floor accompanied by my twisted duvet. For some reason I had forgot to close the blinds before falling asleep the night before, and the moonlight shone through into my ivory painted bedroom. Surely there is nothing worse than waking up when it feels like it's still the middle of the night. But that's just the way it is so deep into the winter-time; the sky seems to be bruised black no matter what time you look at it. Even mid-day the sky is flooded with thick grey clouds; practically blocking the sun out and making everything underneath it look miserable.

I'm out of the house in a flash, not bothering to check if Ulquiorra had woken up or if he was stuck in a dream somewhere in the depths of his bed… either way I'm sure he wouldn't have been happy to see me first thing in the morning holding a fresh cup of tea and a croissant for his breakfast. Besides, he's a grown man; he can make breakfast for himself.

The city-centre is usually bustling at this time in the morning, full of work people, schoolchildren and early-birds trying to get into the grocery store before the mad 11'oclock rush. But for some reason, I found myself one of few people stumbling around the streets being blown this way and that by the heavy wind, getting drenched in the early morning downpour and frozen by the crisp dawn air. I knew I should have worn something toastier than a skirt and blouse… even a thick scarf didn't particularly help. In fact, with the wind blowing at gale force, it was more of an obstruction than a help; it kept billowing back into my face as I tried to walk against the wind. Before I know it I'm sprawled out on the ground, surrounded by shards of glass and a cutting pain on my head.

"Is she dead!?"

"Fucking hell, call an ambulance for God's sake!"

"I'm gonna pass out… blood… urgh…"

Blood? Who's blood? Sitting up, I realise it's mine as it trickles onto my eyelashes and into my eyes. Doesn't hurt half as much as you'd think though. But that may just have been the shock of it.

"Don't worry guys, I'm f-fine. Seriously."

Some woman with unsuitably bleach blonde hair squatted beside me, wet-wipe in hand and dabbing the sticky red substance from my face.

"Don't be silly, girl. We've got to get you to a doctor as soon as- hey! Come back here! Hey!"

Hah, no way am I letting some doctor prod me with a stick and then realise that this is no ordinary human body… it's just a gigai after all. Of course, I don't know if Szayel Aporro has made it so you couldn't tell unless you were him, but I'm not taking any chances. Sure, running all the way to the offices while the blood was pouring freely down my face probably wasn't such a good idea, but it was the only way to escape.

Falling through the office doors, I made a beeline for the ladies bathroom and prayed that none of the women in there noticed that my face was smothered in crimson.

"I-if anyone a-a-asks, its l-lipstick." I stuttered to myself quietly, staggering nauseously into the toilets and collapsing forward into the sink. I made a point of taking three monstrously deep breaths before undertaking the task of actually looking at myself in the mirror; I'm not particularly squeamish but flicking my head up after losing the amount of blood I already had didn't seem like a good idea. Eventually plucking up the physical strength to stand upright, I cracked open a sticky lid only to gasp in disgust at the bloodied mess that stood staring back at me.

"B-better clean myself… myself… myself up." The words fell out of my mouth in an almost comprehensible manner, however even I was finding it difficult to understand myself. As I began mopping up the sticky blood from my face, I began to wonder… how can I not understand what I'm saying? It's in my head… isn't it? And with the realisation that I was actually wiping the space next to my head and not my face, I breathed in sharply and fell forwards, smacking my head on the basin as I went.

I'm really not sure what happened after that.

* * *

**A/N: **_Sorry about dodgy paragraphing... don't know what happened there. Hope you enjoyed the wonderful pain I put Adoriana through; I'm surprised she doesn't come and kill me._


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

One eye is open. The other will not open just yet. The ceiling is white; nothing unusual there. The walls around me are white. How nostalgic. As far as I can make out with a single blurry eye, there is a mahogany desk beside me, a pair of men's smart black leather shoes and a warm yellowish-orange light glowing from some point in the room. Feel free to ask where I am, I promise I will make an effort to answer you… however I'm almost completely sure I will get it wrong. This room has a familiar air to it, almost a homely atmosphere. But as for the alignment of objects in this room, I have no idea where I am at this point in time.

The last thing I remember is the sight of my face in the mirror as I lunged forward, and the sink becoming ever closer to me. And now here I am laying flat on my back in some room that smells like pleasure itself, head throbbing and heart beating so fast I can practically feel it tapping away at my chest. It hurts. I want to get up, but I'm afraid of what will happen or who I'll see. For all I know, this could be another one of Aizen-sama's weird plans to do hell-knows-what, and I'm just a pawn on his board. Although come to think of it, that's what we all are anyway.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in." Came a smug voice from behind. My head twitched slightly to the left, trying to avoid being trodden on as I could make out a shadow on the wall wobbling around and getting bigger as it moved towards me. An ivory white stiletto stomped down millimetres from my fingers, accompanied by a snide chuckle. "Sit up, you sad excuse for a woman." The voice continued. I had finally distinguished the voice as belonging to the blonde bitch of a deputy boss: Tillie.

"Can't. I can't sit up, I tried already. I tried already." I croaked, desperately wanting to simply jump to my feet and walk away very quickly. I had decided that I didn't like this woman at all. She had gone out of her way to make every day here excruciatingly boring, and showered me with reprimanding comments as often as she could. Perhaps I also hated her for knowing the boss when I'd been working my ass off for some guy I didn't even know.

"I said sit up. If you can't sit up, I'll sit you up." She replied hastily, crouching down next to me and wedging her hands under my back. She might have been pretty but those hands sure were bony, nothing like the normal small delicate hands of the women around here. Tillie hoisted me upright… and then let go, letting me fall backwards again onto the floor and laughing when she heard the loud thump of my head hitting the ground. Thank god it was carpeted, or that really would have hurt. "Oops, so sorry darling." She was so sarcastic I wanted to throw up in her face, smash her head into the ground and then pull her eyes out. But of course, I'm not that kind of person.

"Tillie? What the fuck do ya think you're doin' in 'ere? Didn't I tell ya to go get me some doughnuts 'n shit from the store? Fuck's sake."

It could only be the boss. My whole body tensed up right there, and I squeezed my eyes shut so as not to see who he was. He must have kept himself hidden from everyone for a reason. I guessed he'd been in some sort of disfiguring accident or something.

"Sir, I'm just helping dear Adoriana here. It looks like she crawled into your office after she hit her head, no doubt just a silly act of jealousy towards me and-"

"Shut up, you fucktard. _I_ brought her in 'ere, alright? Now piss the piss off and get me a fuckin' doughnut or they'll all be gone; it's lunch time and ya know how pissy those fat hungry bastards get."

Tillie withdrew from my side but didn't leave the room. For some reason or other, she was absolutely determined to stick me in the deep end. Even though she'd obviously failed at that, after showing how desperate she was to keep the boss all to herself.

"But sir, I-"

"When I say go, you fuckin' go. You got that? Stupid fuckin' tranny, dunno why I even bloody employed ya in the first place!"

There was an angered gasp, and in a millisecond Tillie was back by my side, not so as to kick me or anything but so she could whisper the words of rage that she'd kept pent up for about three seconds.

"You ruin it for me, I'll ruin it for you too… Nnoitra."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Tillie had gone. The 'boss' sat head in hands at his desk, completely and utterly silent while I lay paralyzed in disbelief. Had she really just called him that? Could it really be him?

While very aware that the man who was sitting metres away from me could be the person I've wanted to see for the past five months, I tried to think of all the reasons it couldn't be him.

One. I saw him die. I actually stood there and watched as the life seeped out of him, tripping over my words in haste to tell him what I needed to tell him and failing miserably as his lifeless hand slipped from mine.

Two. Why the hell would he be here? He liked killing things, not using a computer and owning a business full of women- he hates women.

Three. It's far too coincidental that I would end up working under him. Out of all the places in the world Aizen-sama could have sent me, no way would he have sent me here. Aizen-sama knows all things and sees all things; he would have known if Nnoitra was here… or is that what he wanted?

"Oi. You ain't gonna look at me or anythin' then? Jus' gonna lay there like a dead fish an' ignore me? Don't kid me; I know ya heard what he said."

He? What the fuck was going _on_? First I'm hit with the possibility of laying in the same room as Nnoitra, and now I'm being told Tillie is quite possibly a man. I do recall the boss calling her a 'tranny'.

"Hello? Get the fuck up already, Tesla's already gone an' blown everythin' so ya can stop acting… Adoriana."

I took a deep breath. My eyelids slowly parted, only to expose my eyes to some blinding light that hadn't been there before. Gathering all the strength I had in my body, I spread my hands wide on the floor beside me and pushed down on the soft coffee-coloured carpet, raising myself up and eventually standing facing away from the man being me. This is it, I thought. My lips were trembling, tears spilling from my eyes knowing that this could be the beginning or the end. The beginning of a whole new dimension of disappointment and pain if it wasn't him. The end of the later if it was.

I turned slowly, instantly knowing before I'd even set eyes upon him that it was in fact the man who had unconditional ownership over my life, dead or alive.

"Nnoitra… sama."

* * *

She's been 'ere for a week. I've seen her around the offices, wearin' those human clothes that make her look so fuckable it hurts. But it ain't quite the same until ya hear her say ya name. My name falls outta her mouth like water; I can almost see it dribblin' down her neck an' chest… _shit_ it's been long since I hit that.

So what the fuck am I meant to do, huh? She's standin' right in front 'a me, cryin' like she always does; jus' tears, no sound. It's even more familiar 'cos she's got blood on her head as if I've just whacked her around the face like I used 'ta. But it ain't the same no more is it? I know what she is now. Little bitch's taken over my spot. I'm starin' at the Quinta right now, and it don't feel right. I wonder if she's taken on one of those fuckin' high n' mighty attitudes, like she thinks she can do anythin' she wants to. Fuck, that'd be weird.

Shit, fuck that little bastard for ruinin' everythin'. I swear Tesla's turnin' gay. Sure, so Tesla dressin' up like a girl and prancin' around the place was all part of the plan, but it's like he actually enjoyed it, the blonde-haired freak. It ain't nice pretendin' to fuck a guy. I know what I gotta do but there's no fuckin' way I'm lookin' forward to it. Either way, one of us is gonna die. Adoriana or me. Fuck Aizen for makin' it like this… I should just barge back in 'ta Las Noches, take my _rightful_ place as Quinta again and jus' have Adoriana as my little fuck buddy come Fraccion. That's the way it was before. That's how it should'a stayed.

Oh yeah, Adoriana. Crap, she's still there (yeah, like she was gonna walk away when I'm standin' right here). Gotta do summit… wanna fuck her but pretty sure that ain't the way to go at the moment. Duh, I'll just hug her. Yeah, hug now, fuck later. I'm likin' that plan.


	14. Chapter 14

Message to readers from Ulquiorra:

God Dammit. Things have not gone to plan. It seems Tesla has revealed things all too soon and Adoriana now knows that Nnoitra is in fact alive and well. I have received orders from Aizen to speed things up; we will be returning to Las Noches this evening. Szayel needs to make sure he gets his part of the deal done quickly too… we will be needing Nnoitra's spirit body back and in working order before tomorrow.

Sigh. I am sure you are wondering what on earth is going on. Well, you already know more than Adoriana herself, who does not know just how involved she is going to be in the next few days. As you and I well know, she is not one to fight. Especially against her superiors. However… in order to save her rank and life, she is going to need to.

And that is all I am permitted to say. If you have figured out Aizen's plan then congratulations. If you have not, you shall soon find out. And when you _do_ find out, do not feel the urge to revolt. We wouldn't want any more people getting killed now, would we?

**Chapter 14**

I don't understand. Nothing… nothing makes sense. I'm trying to add it all up, really I am. But how is this possible? I _saw_ him go down, the memory is still tattooed on my brain as if it had happened just days ago. And yet here he is; holding me in a way I've been longing for the past five months. I didn't think it feasible to recover from the fatal blow he received that miserable afternoon… how? How is this happening?

"Nnoitra-sama… Nnoitra-sama… _Nnoitra-sama…" _I repeated softly, somewhat resembling Inoue as she cried out for her orange-haired hero. Reiterating his name was a subconscious attempt to make the situation real, to somehow prove to myself that this was not yet another dream in which he appeared and disappeared in the space of a few seconds.

"Yeah, that's ma fuckin' name. You got anythin' else to say besides that, huh?"

He let me go, bending down to my level and sweeping the hair from my face. Tucking a piece behind my ear, he suddenly crashed his lips into mine, sending me backwards a few steps and into the wall. Nothing unusual. I waited for him to hastily undress me in the way he used to… but there was nothing. Just the kiss. That one, rough and unplanned kiss. It really was him. Holding back no longer, I threw myself at the ex-Quinta as the river of words came tumbling out of my mouth.

"Nnoitra-sama! I… I've missed you so much, I've wanted to see you so much and every day I lose myself just _thinking_ about you, I want you back Nnoitra, I want you back forever," I cried, throwing feeble punches at his chest in frustration and relief, "Please, please don't go anymore… don't leave me again! How could you be here all this time, how could you be living… breathing and moving down here all this time and I didn't know!?" The tears streamed down my face, harder and faster than ever before… never had I feltso many emotions at one time. Anger, frustration, happiness… love.

"C'mon, shut up already. Last time ya saw me, you were babblin' on about somethin'… you gonna finish off what you were tryin' ta say?"

Oh no. He can't, he wouldn't make me say that. Not now, not here.

"Say it, for fuck's sake! Tell me, tell me right now."

He had me by the shoulders; face inches away from my own. There wasn't another option. Besides, my feelings hadn't changed. If anything, they'd grown stronger. I opened my eyes properly and looked straight into his.

"I love you."

* * * * *

I knew it. I fuckin' knew it! Trust her to come out with it now; she ain't left herself much time to show it. Granted, s'not like she knew where I was or anythin'. But I don't remember her tellin' me this back when things were normal. She tried, I guess.

"You're a fuckin' weirdo, ya know that?"

"I know. You've mentioned it before. But… you never answered me. Why are you here? God, I'm looking for an answer, I'm trying to work this all out but it doesn't make sense."

Fuck, I can't work out why she's crying. Does she want me to be here or what? I bet she's gone and fucked that emo bitch. I better find that out soon, 'cos if she has, I'll have to smash his fuckin' head in.

"Why d'ya wanna know so badly eh? Ain't it good enough be being here in the first place?"

Adoriana stared at me, eyebrows furrowed in what's probably become her every day facial expression. With her lips slightly parted and face tilted upwards towards me, it was like she was practically begging me to just fuck her right there. Which I would 'a done, if she hadn't of started babbling on again.

"How can you even think that!? It's _more_ than good enough you being here… it's like the craziest of daydreams has become a reality for me! I'm at a loss for words, Nnoitra-sama. I don't know what else I can say to make you understand how happy I am now you're here."

"Fine. If ya love me so fuckin' much, tell me this. Who do you belong to?"

She paused. I wanna know, since she's the 'almighty Quinta' now… who the fuck she thinks she belongs to. 'Cos as far as I'm concerned, that little red-haired bitch is mine. All mine. I made her what she is now, if anythin'. And it's _my_ power she's scavenging off of right now… without me, she'd be fuckin' nothin'.

"As if you need to ask. I am not my own, Nnoitra-sama. I'm yours, I am your property, I belong to you and no one else. I only do what Aizen tells me to because he's stronger than I am. I do what you say because I _want_ to."

Heh. She hasn't changed one fuckin' bit. S'great, really is. But I'll tell ya one thing. It's gonna make killin' her a whole fuckin' lot harder.

* * *

**A/N: **_Yeah I went there... three different perspectives in one chapter. I hope this doesn't confuse people... I guess it's pretty obvious who is who (with all the swearing and that). Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed, review please bitches. CottonSocks_


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

I can't begin to imagine how much catching up we have to do. Not that Nnoitra is going to want to spend time catching up… I'm surprised he hasn't stripped me naked already. There's a lot I want to talk about with him, such as what happened to him after he was dealt what I thought was a fatal blow from Kenpachi, what on earth he's doing thriving in the Gensei, and what are we going to do now?

But now, all of a sudden, Nnoitra seems to be in a rush. To do what, I don't know.

"C'mon, we gotta go."

He quickly hoisted me up over his shoulder and began walking out of the offices, not giving a toss that all the employees could now get an eyeful of their enigmatic boss.

"Oh my _god_, Remi, the boss! The boss!"

"What are you talking about, Tsuki… oh my _god!_"

"Oh my god! Oh my god!"

It seemed to be about the only thing they could utter as they watched their boss saunter out of the workplace with the orange-haired temp strewn over his shoulder. I couldn't tell what exactly they were shocked about; Nnoitra showing his face, his looks, or the fact that I was the only one he seemed to be paying attention to.

"Nnoitra-sama… could I possibly ask where we have got to go to?"

"Back to your fuckin' apartment where your little emo buddy is waitin' for us. Dumbass."

Ulquiorra? How could he possibly know about all of this already!? I don't know if this is just me but… it seems that I'm the only one who has no clue what is going on here. Of course, I'm overwhelmingly relieved to see Nnoitra again, but everything is happening so damn fast I can't take it in properly.

Something is going on. And I want to find out what the hell it is. Because if it's anything as bad as I'm anticipating it to be, I'm no doubt going to lose out on something I love yet again.

Out on the wet streets of Shinjuku, the rain poured down and soaked us both, the only two people who didn't have an umbrella. We passed vending machines offering brightly coloured umbrellas for competitive prices, but Nnoitra was convinced we didn't need one. I begged to differ. On more than one occasion, a taxi would zip though a puddle beside the road, immersing both of us in dirty, polluted rain water.

"Still pussy as ever, eh Adoriana?" Nnoitra sniggered, watching me screw my nose up in disgust at how soaked I was. "Can't even deal with a bit of rain water, for fuck's sake."

"That's not completely true…" I replied, walking a little faster to keep up with the long-legged ex-Quinta.

"So what is it eh? You just whimper at everything that comes near that pretty little face o' yours for no reason? Don't gimmie that shit. And this rain ain't gonna kill ya. Not unless you're allergic to water." He said, whacking me over the head with his hand and then giving me an 'i-told-you-so' look when I let out a little moan that it hurt.

"First of all, after spending so much time with _you_, Nnoitra-sama, I'm bound to be jumpy when things get close to me… it always used to be you, doing something or other. And secondly, I'm only screwing up my face because I know I'm going to get odd looks from Ulquiorra when I walk through the door looking like a drowned cat." I explained. We were just about to cross the road when the little man turned red, and Nnoitra growled in frustration. I guess it must be irritating to have to fall so far from Quinta Espada down to normal everyday human. Even he had to wait for the green man before he could walk.

"Great excuse, 'Doriana. You blaming your constant tenseness on me? Well, good. S'nice to know I had such an impact on ya."

We had finally reached the edge of the bustling town centre, and were minutes away from the apartment Aizen had provided for Ulquiorra and me. It was a nice area, not as built up as the surrounding Tokyo but blending in perfectly well. Of course, Aizen had chosen a white building, glamorous and showy just as expected from such a powerful man. You had to pass a security gate just to enter the estate, and then there were gardens to walk through and a long drive to journey up. I waved a little ID card in front of the uniformed security man, and recognising me, he opened the gate and let us through… giving Nnoitra an odd stare. Standing next to me, he no doubt looked a lot taller than he actually was. And a lot meaner.

"What kind of fuckin' place is this? You guys got shit, you should'a seen the place I'm crashing in at the moment. That's what I call fuckin' luxury. Maids, huge TV, pool… the fuckin' lot." Nnoitra boasted, turning up his nose as we approached the apartment. I cannot even begin to imagine what his place was like; this alone was my idea of a human heaven.

The elevator opened into the living room, and, just like in the cheesiest movie on earth, Ulquiorra sat legs crossed sipping a cup of tea.

"I've been expecting you."

I don't think Ulquiorra has realised how terrible that sounded to anyone who has bothered watching television in the past twenty years. Although, I doubt Ulquiorra even thought about turning the television on during our stay here. It's too 'pointless'.

"Yeah yeah, cut the shit Ulquiorra. Get to the fuckin' point before I get a kitchen knife and slice those fuckin' eyes right out."

Typical Nnoitra. But, it's the Nnoitra I know and love, so I'm not complaining.

"It's nice to see you, too." Muttered Ulquiorra sarcastically, placing his mug of tea on the coffee table and urging us to sit down. "Adoriana," He began. "You obviously by know have realised that things are… not as you initially perceived. I can tell by your face that you're worried. And you have great reason to be. Enjoy your time with Nnoitra while it lasts… you do not have long at all."

My stomach tied itself into knots. How could I enjoy myself when I knew for sure that something detrimental was going to happen in a matter of hours? Why wouldn't anyone explain to me exactly what was going to occur?

"Ulquiorra please. Tell me… what is going on?" I asked sincerely, literally sitting on the edge of my seat. I could feel my body heating up, sweat prickling me all over. I was no longer just worried. I was absolutely terrified.

Ulquiorra had refused to let me know until 'later', when he felt I had calmed down from reuniting with Nnoitra. I was secretly enraged… but of course, being the weaker of the two I couldn't insist anything.

"Oi Ulquiorra. Why you actin' so thoughtful and shit around Adoriana eh? You fucked her while I was away, huh!?" Nnoitra suddenly burst, fists clenched and voice strong. Ulquiorra sighed and didn't move from his seat. He said nothing.

"Answer me, you fuckin' bastard! You always had you're fuckin' eyes on my bitch didn't ya!? And I bet as soon as I went away… you tricked her into riding ya, didn't you!? I'm gonna punch the shit outta you…" He yelled, storming over to the indifferent Cuatro and ignoring the fact that I had been crying Ulquiorra's defences the whole time.

"Nnoitra. Not once have I so much as _thought_ about doing such a thing. Stop being so noisy, you're irritating me." Ulquiorra sighed calmly, picking up his mug again and attempting to take a sip. However, he was foiled. Nnoitra sent his fist flying into Ulquiorra's face, smashing the mug in the process and spilling tea everywhere. Nnoitra's knuckles began to bleed. Ulquiorra's cheek was scratched all over and bleeding also. I sat there, unable to speak one word. It was the first time I'd seen Nnoitra actually land a punch on the Cuatro. "Did I not just deny the accusation you laid on me? You had no reason to do that. However… I have reason to do _this_." Ulquiorra grabbed hold of Nnoitra's wrist and twisted it, filling the room with a sickening crack. I sat in horror, watching as the two men began what seemed to be a full on fight. Standing up, I walked out of the room and onto the veranda.

And here I sit, drenched in vanilla twilight while punches and kicks are being thrown around in the room behind me. Looking out onto the sparkling lights of Tokyo, I began to cry. Comparing my own life to that of the other Espada; Harribel, Stark, Szayel Aporro, they seemed to have it so easy… either that, or I was doing something wrong. Why couldn't I just have it easy for a change? Laze around a bit. Not have to worry about what was going to happen next. I now know that my joy is going to be short lived. So why get excited? I might as well begin the downward spiral into depression now.

**A/N**_: I'm trying hard to make chapters a little longer. How am I doing? Reviews, pretty please with cherries and sprinkles and chocolate and candy and... getting a little carried away here. Anyway yeah, please. CottonSocks _


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

I woke up leaning on Nnoitra's arm, the cool early morning air brushing softly against my cheeks. Peering up at his face, I noticed it was bruised and covered in grazes. I reached up to stroke his face, resting my hand gently on one of the significantly larger wounds on it.

"What did he do to you?" I whispered quietly, not realising that he was actually awake.

"Oh, you decided to wake up did ya? Good, it's fuckin' cold out here. Get up, we're goin' inside." He moaned, taking hold of the hand on his face and yanking me inside with him. The living room was surprisingly warm, and Ulquiorra sat silently on the same armchair he was in when we arrived. I noticed that he had since lit a fire in the hearth, and made himself yet another cup of tea. He didn't look up as we passed through the room into the hallway, Nnoitra walking a lot faster as we approached my bedroom door.

"Are you thinking of…"

"Fuck yeah."

The door slammed shut behind us, and the lights flicked on automatically. They were rather dim, since I liked reading before I went to sleep, and reading with the lights on full beam gave me a headache. Nnoitra left me standing in the middle of the room, commanding me to undress.

"On second thoughts," he said, walking towards the door again, "I'll do that in a second."

I stood there motionless, wondering what on earth he was doing. He opened the door a crack and yelled out. "Oi ya lump of emo shit, don't even think about entering this room in the next couple of hours. Ya got that!?" And with that, he rammed the door shut again, this time looking at me the way he used to. The way that used to make my knees turn to jelly. Within seconds Nnoitra was beside me, slipping his fingers through the button holes in my shirt and pulling it off. Considering how long it's been, I wasn't sure whether I was excited or afraid. However my indecisiveness was soon settled as Nnoitra shoved me backwards, sending me hurtling to the floor. Hitting my head on the floor, I opened my eyes just in time to watch the ex-Quinta clamber hungrily on top of me.

"Yes, yes, _yes_! I've been waitin' for this for so fuckin' long!" He yelled, pinning me down and descending on my body. I felt his lips touch my stomach, and then his tongue. Automatically going to swat him away, I remembered that his hands were placed firmly on mine. I was trapped. And I fucking loved it.

That face of his, I'd missed it so much. In fact, I'd missed every inch of that gorgeous body insanely, so much so that I could barely stop myself staring at it as he ripped his shirt off. Wonderful. Just what I'd been looking forward to… even if I _do_ end up losing him again, I'll have some fantastic images to look back on. Although, if thinking about him brings me to tears after losing him once… who knows what it'll make me do if I lose him again?

Unsurprisingly, the sex hadn't changed a bit. It was just as it was before… hot, rough, painful and exciting. But for some reason, I just couldn't 'enjoy' it as I used to. The apprehension of the events to come lingered in the forefront of my mind like a huge ugly spider in the centre of a web. To think that this could be the last time I… well. Should I say it? Yeah I'll say it; this could be the last time I'd feel Nnoitra come, hot and fast inside of me… _so_ fucking good.

Oh shit. He's noticed.

"…The fuck? Why 'ain't ya screamin'? Do I need to punch ya to get ya to scream eh?"

"Yeah. I think you should punch me. And kick me, and rip my organs out and just kill me. Nnoitra-sama, I can't bear this much longer. True, it's been just a day… but I can't get it out of my head! This… this is never going to happen again, is it?"

"Eh? Nah, probably not. So why ain't ya screamin'? Ya should be blowin' ma fuckin' eardrums to bits, seein as it's the last time. Anyway… yer not gonna have to bear it much longer. Couple 'a hours and… yeah."

"And what? And what!?"

"Look, just shut the fuck up will ya!? You'll find out soon enough; I already _told_ ya I can't say what's gonna happen! It'll ruin everything… where the fuck are ya going!?"

I had no idea where I was going. But I know I was frightened, anxious and very, very shaky. Slinging on Nnoitra's jacket (which was huge) and swinging my bedroom door open, I ignored the furious yells that belonged to the long-haired sex god and stomped heavily down the hallway, trying to figure out what the hell I was trying to do. Noticing Ulquiorra _still_ sitting quiet and contempt in the armchair, I suddenly felt a rush of rage. Before I could stop myself, I was smashing him over the head with a magazine; the only thing to hand at the time. Part of me was fuming; this guy had nothing to lose, nothing to gain in this situation. He just watched as two of his fellow Espada lost something important… not even bothering to tell me what was going on. And he had the cheek to tell me to stop hitting him.

But another part of me joint Ulquiorra in the constant orders to stop. To just submit and do what I've always done; he's technically my superior and hitting him with a magazine certainly was no dignified way to treat him. After all, he hasn't actually done anything wrong. Finally, I collapsed back on the sofa, watching the now messy-haired Cuatro stand in disbelief at what I'd done. It seems stupid; getting so flustered about a magazine. It wouldn't of hurt him. But that isn't the point. I _never_ do things like that. I'm not one to stand against those in authority… I just do what they say, and get on with it.

"…Sorry." I blurted out, my voice almost a whisper as I drew in another breath quickly and loudly. I had to calm myself down.

"What on earth do you think you're playing at, Adoriana?" He replied, irritated and thoroughly disgruntled. His tea lay in a puddle on the floor, in and amongst the shattered china that it had been sitting in. I blinked once. I blinked again. And I was back to myself again. My eyes fell to the floor in shame, my head hung like an unruly child who had just received his comeuppance. Why had I done that? Why had I gotten so angry with a man who I actually admired rather a lot? As I questioned myself, an arm curled around my waist and hoisted my off the sofa.

"Don't ya get it? Shit, this is fucked up. She's getting mad and we haven't even explained to her yet… it's all startin' way to fuckin' early!" Growled the owner of the arm.

All I could see was Nnoitra's feet and legs, and the floor. I couldn't see the expressions on the faces of the men in the room; neither could I tell what words they were mouthing to each other across it. But you could have cut the tension in that room with a Zanpaktou (cheesy joke, completely rubbish).

"Right. Then I guess we will have to be on our way, immediately. There's no time to explain… we'll have to wait until we arrive."

Arrive where? Why is there no time? What is starting to early? What the hell is going _on?_

_---------------_

**A/N:**_Sorry for taking so long to update... I got a bit stuck on the whole sexy bit. To be honest, I haven't written any of that since those scenes in 'While I Live I Serve', i.e. about six months ago... I don't really write it anymore. However I'm quite happy to go right up to the bit _before_ they... ahem... and then I'll leave the rest to your imagination! Also apologies for dodgy paragraphing; I dunno what's up with it, it just went weird when I uploaded it. Reviews/ Comments much appreciated! CottonSocks_


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Goodbye Gensei; and good riddance. I can understand why humans go through so much stress; this place is a living nightmare. However, if given the option to stay in the Gensei with Nnoitra or return to Hueco Mundo to do whatever Aizen is asking us to do… I think we all know which one I'd choose.

God, I wish they'd sedate me or something, this anxiety is killing me. You'd think the fact that both of them are talking would make me feel just a little bit better, but it is in fact making everything that little bit worse. You see, if they were silent, it could worry in peace about what is going to happen. However, because they are speaking, I have the joy of subconsciously reading between the lines of what they are saying and _then_ worrying even more, because what I'm 'hearing' isn't good at all.

We're almost there. I can feel it, the garganta is coming to an end and a familiar level of reiatsu is beginning to pool up inside of me. Reiatsu. That's when I thought; didn't I take all of Nnoitra's reiatsu when he 'died'? How exactly did he plan on entering Hueco Mundo in that makeshift gigai of his?

"Nnoitra-sama…" I said rather loudly, for fear of not being heard in between the heated argument about something or other going on with Nnoitra and Ulquiorra.

"Shut ya mouth and save yer energy for later, alright?" The ex-Quinta replied, shaking me about under his arm. As if I didn't feel sick enough already…

"No, wait, I have a serious question."

"Look, if it's about what's goin' on then just give up already, I've had enough of you tryin' ta poke the answer out and yer not gonna get it."

"It isn't about that."

"Oh. In that case, shoot."

"How are you going to get into Hueco Mundo when you're still in that gigai? Surely it will… explode or something."

Nnoitra sniggered quietly, as if I was completely brain dead for not knowing the answer already. He proceeded to tell me that Szayel had long since been working on his spiritual body, all the way back from that dreadful day when Kenpachi sliced him up. I was shocked into silence. This had been planned since then? Did everyone know already? Why had Aizen done this!? The whole time I'd been an Arrancar, I had never spoken directly against Aizen, neither had I plotted against him nor spread rumours, like so many of the other moany Arrancar. And yet for some reason, he seemed to be intent on constantly making my life a living hell, whether it be through mental or physical torture. I bet it was all his fault that I became Nnoitra's Fraccion in the first place. Although I can hardly say that that was a _bad_ thing; those were the best- if not the most scariest- days of my now here I am, waiting for everything to go tits up for the millionth time. But this time, I was convinced it would be more than a million times worse than anything else.

I had somehow made the transition from gigai to spiritual body without realising it; perhaps it's a new technique Ulquiorra has learnt for the sake of this very day. Then again, it might just be that I'm completely oblivious to anything I deem unimportant at this moment in time- in other words, anything that has nothing to do with Nnoitra.

The open desert of Hueco Mundo stretched out before us, welcoming us home in the most morbid way possible; it was unusually bleak and the atmosphere felt so heavy I just wanted to collapse and die. It wasn't only me who was beginning to feel the pressure; Nnoitra had put me down and I could now see the expressions on both men's faces. Ulquiorra's straight-face was tinged with worry yet smothered in concentration and focus. It looked like he'd almost been put up to all of this, like he didn't really want to have to introduce me into yet a new realm of hurt. I strongly doubted it, but you can never be too sure with that one. Nnoitra looked so angry it was unreal; and yet I wasn't afraid of him at all. I'd never wanted to cling to the man more in my life, not just because I'd not long been reacquainted with him but also because he gave me the oddest sense of security I've ever felt. I've said it before and I'll say it again: He might have been the main provider of pain, but he was also the only one who knew how to cure it.

"What?" Nnoitra queried, looking down at me staring back at him. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked away, not quite knowing 'what'. Ulquiorra peered back at us both as if to say 'are you two quite finished?', and we jumped to it, following him across the blank dunes of Hueco Mundo. I began to wonder why we didn't all just sonido; it would have been far quicker. But I got the idea that both Ulquiorra and Nnoitra were trying to procrastinate things further, for what reason, I couldn't quite make out. I guess I was just trying to piece together little bits of information and my observations to try make out what was going on. No matter how hard I tried though, I simply couldn't come up with a rational outcome. In retrospect, I think I was actually too afraid of coming up with a reasonable conclusion. When you don't know something, you want to know it… but once you do, you almost immediately wish you hadn't known in the first place. Some things are just better left hidden.

Within minutes, I found myself looking up to my owner again, searching his face out for any kind of let out of emotion or explanation. It was subconscious, I didn't even realise I was starting at him until a) I tripped over my own foot, and b) he asked me what the fuck I was doing.

"I don't _know_ what I'm doing. Do you? What am I doing?" I asked almost impatiently, mentally beating myself up for being so stereotypically womanly. Asking stupid questions. Clinging to a man for strength. Fearing everything and anything. I know, I give women a bad name. But not every woman has gone through the things I have… and not every woman has the same personality as I do. Besides, at a time like that, I really couldn't have cared a less whether I was giving my gender a bad name or not. All I wanted to do was to hold on to the man I honestly and whole-heartedly loved.

"You're doing this on fuckin' purpose ain't ya? Keep starin' at me an' asking me stuff… when will you get it eh? I'm not gonna fuckin' tell ya, just wait and find out!" Nnoitra finally yelled after looking down at me for a few seconds. I felt as if the ribbon that usually bound us together was slowly being ripped apart by some scheming animal… in my head, it was Aizen. Although that's just me placing the blame on someone. He left me and carried on after Ulquiorra, again quietly discussing the situation so that I could not hear. I don't know if they were doing it on purpose. But the fact that the information I longed for was so close to my ears was making me rather angry, and I felt like picking up that pillow again and whacking them both around the head.

I trailed a few yards behind them, letting my eyes glance over the desert where I had no doubt once resided long ago as some useless Adjuchas and thinking it would be the last time I would see it again. I sensed relief; it'd be good to be rid of life if it meant constantly being worried and uncertain about things. But then my eyes fell upon Nnoitra for the third time, and my heart went thumping at the thought of never seeing him again.

I didn't want to die. I just wanted to be with him under whatever circumstances allowed.

"We have arrived. Wait here. I'll go and notify Aizen-sama." Ulquiorra droned half-heartedly, disappearing into the bleach white halls of Las Noches, hands still in pockets. I wish my hakama had pockets. If I put my hands in my hakama I'd just end up touching my arse. Which isn't desirable.

"Well, this is it I guess. S'all downhill from here, 'Doriana."

My back against the wall, I sunk to the floor and stared at the crystal specs of sand beneath me. The small, bright sparkle they gave off resembled the grain of hope inside me… it had been whittled down to this invisible size in the span of two days. Was it possible for it to get any smaller?

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**A/N: **_Oh dear lord, I am so sorry for the long gap between updates! Writers block, illness (damn cold weather) and school have been preventing me from writing this for some time now... please forgive me! Also, my apologies for the weird spacing and paragraphs... I'm honestly terrible with all of that. Anyway, grovelling over, I hope you enjoyed that chapter, and please be patient for the next! Reviews make me happy and motivated! CottonSocks_


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Just minutes after Ulquiorra disappeared into Las Noches, a familiar figure appeared at the doorway… unmissable candy pink hair and those sweet honey coloured eyes… Szayel Aporro. He looked surprisingly happy to see us, or rather Nnoitra, and came bounding out in an elegant yet excited manner. Nnoitra sighed heavily as the bubble-gum headed Octavia approached us, crossing his arms and taking a few steps back.

"Looks like _someone_ isn't pleased to see me… how have you been, Nnoitra? Hmm?" Szayel exclaimed girlishly, hands waving around emphatically like an overenthusiastic weatherman. A smile crept onto my face at the sight of the man; of course we'd never been close- I'd never been close to anyone in the Arrancar world bar Nnoitra and my Fraccion- but he was strange and funny, and made me laugh. Also, if I remember correctly, the guy has saved my life quite a few times, _and_ enlightened me on a few touchy subjects… such as Arrancar pregnancy. But let's not go there.

"Szayel. Unless ya have somethin' important to give me- which you fuckin' better have-, fuck the fuck off. I'm not in the fuckin' mood to talk to shitty little fruitcakes such as yourself. Got it?"

"Well!" Szayel cried out in mock horror, "That isn't a very nice way to treat a person who you haven't seen for nigh on six months is it? Not to mention the little project I've been working on for you…?" He said this pointedly, eyes staring sharply to the right, where the door was. It was obvious he wanted Nnoitra to follow him inside. I guessed it was for this body thing he's been working on… I'm not sure if it was the body he 'died' in, or if it's some kind of re-make… but of course, I wasn't sure of much at the time.

"Can't ya just bring the piece of shit out here, eh?" Nnoitra asked quickly, Szayel shaking his head before he'd even finished the question. "Well why the fuck not?"

"Because," The scientist replied, "I need to show you some things explain some things and give some things. I've had your weapon in my lab the whole time you've been gone… and just as I had expected, it's healed itself."

I did a double-take. How could a Zanpaktou _heal_ itself? It had been damaged in several ways, not to mention the power and reiatsu that drained from it in the peculiar transfer to my body. As far as I knew, everything had gone from Nnoitra, to the Zanpaktou, to me. There was nothing left in either of them, which is why he died. But I had long since been proved wrong about that theory… I was now left to think about what other theories I had made up were now wrong. In retrospect, anyone would have assumed the things I did. Nobody would have thought what explanations I finally received would have ever happened.

It now occurred to me that every little detail had been meticulously thought out and planned with the upmost accuracy. As Nnoitra turned to follow Szayel off to his lab, I stood in a still and silent horror… there was nothing I could do to change the calculated outcome. This was Aizen's plan. It _would_ happen. Even if I happened to find out what it was, his resolve would come. It's just like the situation with Inoue. From the moment she ran into Ulquiorra, she was doomed, her future premeditated and written in stone by the most cunning-minded man ever; Aizen. And although I'm on his side, this is what was going to happen to me too. Fated to do, be, say, hear and believe what he wanted me to.

In that moment, I developed a deep, rooted hate for the man at the top of the 'food-chain'. I'd already done it; I'd already devoted my life to him. There was nothing I could really do; I knew I'd never stop serving him. I just had to grin and bear it.

Ulquiorra returned. He stared at me for a few seconds and then took me by the wrist and led me into the great white palace, beautiful and unblemished. I thought how ironic it was to have such a pure colour drench the place when such an evil man sat head of it all. The corridor was coming to an end; the hall was in sight. Not _just_ the hall of course… but my future.

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**A/N: **_The shift key on my laptop is fucked up. I now have to press the caplock button just to get a single capital letter on the beginning of both Nnoitra and Ulquiorra's names... the shift key will work on all other letters but 'N' and 'U'. Typical. I know it's odd to say it, but whatever. Reviews please! CottonSocks_


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Aizen. Just the sight of the man made me want to run for the hills; and there aren't even any hills in Las Noches. Of course, he hadn't changed a bit; his glare still gave me chills and his lips always seemed to be holding back secrets. But this time, he was surrounded by an air of mischievous satisfaction like a child who knew he was going to get his way no matter what. I wanted to shrink away behind Nnoitra's tall muscular body like I would have done six or so months ago, when I was still just his silly little Fraccion. But as an Espada, I felt I had a certain manner of dignity to uphold, if not for myself then for the other Espada around me.

As the other Espada and Fraccion settled in the hall, Aizen set his mug down beside him and began to speak. It was now just myself and Nnoitra standing slap bang in the middle, Aizen in front, everyone else behind… including Ulquiorra, who had shrunk back to stand somewhat too close to Inoue. I craved the ability to just let my mind wonder, as I desperately wanted to mull over in my head why the sullen-faced Cuatro had decided to stand so close to her; but I knew my full focus had to be on the situation before me. As soon as Aizen opened his mouth, I had to be all ears.

"Welcome back, my dear Espada. How nostalgic to see you two together again…" He said coolly, directing his stare at me knowing that he had already managed to tug at my heart strings just by bringing this man back into my life. "How did you find the Gensei, Adoriana?"

Looking him plainly in the eye I began to speak, my voice a husky whisper in the otherwise silent hall.

"The Gensei was interesting, Aizen-sama. Very interesting." I lied. The Gensei was far from interesting; that world may be full of life and glittering lights, but none of it was what I wanted.

Aizen cocked his head to the side and leant on his hand, shifting his glare from me to Nnoitra.

"And you, ex-Quinta? How did the Gensei treat you?"

Nnoitra took his hands from his pockets and crossed his arms.

"It was shit. Only good part was partying and fuckin' Adoriana yesterday."

Aizen's reiatsu soared, sending me to my knees and causing everyone else to cower away from the mighty leader. He repeated his question.

"I didn't quite hear you, Nnoitra. How did the Gensei treat you?"

"Fine. Jus' fine."

It was now practically one hundred percent impossible for me to keep my dignity, after Nnoitra had said what he said. Although I inwardly had to admit, that was the highlight of my stay in Gensei.

"Aizen-sama," I said, startling myself with my 'boldness' "Do you think it's possible to just tell me what's going on? I've been waiting for over thirty-six hours now… it's kinda driving me crazy."

I got 'The Stare'. Not just from Aizen, but from Nnoitra, Grimmjow, Isadora _and_ Ulquiorra (who had taken his eyes off of Inoue for a few seconds, amazingly).

"Patience, Adoriana-chan! Stop yer worryin', you'll find out soon!" Ichimaru piped in, bouncing out from thin air. I'm sure he wasn't there before; but I wasn't particularly focusing on him at the time.

"But I-"

"Shut _up_, you moron." Nnoitra grumbled, nudging me sharply in the shoulder (well, it was _meant_ to be in the shoulder but he's a hell of a lot taller than me so… I got whacked in the cheek).

Okay, so obviously everyone else knows what's about to happen. They all understand it, all the implications and potential outcomes. But does anyone else know how much turmoil I'm going through right now? I'm pretty sure that not one of them can match it; not even Inoue. At least she's kept up to date on what's going on around here, damn prisoner gets treated better than I do!

I had two options, as far as I was concerned. The first was to let my anxiety subside and just sit on the sidelines until I was told what to do. The second was to go ape-shit crazy and demand to be told what was going on, besides, it obviously involved me as a main 'participant' or whatever, and it's blatantly going to change my whole life forever. So why the hell wasn't I being let in on it? To my surprise, the latter choice was becoming more and more appealing, and my attempt to simmer my anger by clenching my fists was doing absolutely nothing. My behaviour wasn't that of someone who had snapped, but I felt like water in a kettle; getting hotter and hotter as the seconds went by… I was outraged.

"Listen, can you all stop being so damn uptight about this and tell me what's going on? I'm getting pretty fed up now, and I-"

Nnoitra interrupted me again, this time more furiously than before. It wasn't exactly what I'd call an attack, but when he sent his arm flying into the side of my head, it bloody hurt. I was on the floor, on all fours, breathing heavily and erratically like a bull about to charge.

"Didn't you hear what I just fuckin' said? Shut the fuck up!" He roared, much more audibly this time. All eyes had reverted to us, after the attention being on Aizen the moment before.

"No. Didn't you hear what _I_ just said!? I said I'm _fed up_; I'm fucking sick and tired of this! Aizen, I've been nothing but good to you all of these years; I've never gone against you, never done anything to piss you off. Same goes to you, Nnoitra. What the fuck have I done to make you all so freaking mad at me, huh!? Why are you doing this? Why can't you just tell me, for fuck's sake?" I yelled uncontrollably, spinning around an almost complete circle to face everyone. They'd all stayed straight-faced, except for Inoue, who looked as if she wanted to run away. Looking up to Aizen, I noticed he was smiling. In fact, he wasn't just smiling; he was actually chuckling away to himself, leant on his hand as if nothing were happening at all.

"What, what the fuck are you laughing at!? Do you think this is _funny_? I suppose none of this makes any difference to you, does it? You don't give a shit if one of your so-called 'precious' Espada's lives is about to crumble before your eyes, because as long as you've got your fucking tea set and your damn power, everything is going to go your way anyway."

His laughing ceased. For a second, I thought he was going to kill me. But he didn't. He just grinned again and started speaking.

"Oh Adoriana. It is going my way already."

"What the…"

Before I could even finish my sentence, I was being dragged away through the crowd of Espada and Fraccion, plus other random Numeros who had decided to turn up un-invited. My eyes darted around the room, settling for mere seconds upon every person and trying to hear what they were whispering.

"I knew that'd happen."

"Didn't think it'd happen so quickly though."

"Well you're forgetting she's got far to go yet…"

"Guess you're right. Can't wait."

Actually hearing people discuss the situation that I was _still_ unaware of made me even angrier; until anger could no longer describe what I was feeling. More and more Numeros grabbed at me to stop me escaping; my reiatsu was rising through madness and I began screaming with fury. Through the crowd, I could see the top of Nnoitra's hood disappearing; he had stayed behind it seemed, whilst I was being dragged to god-knew-where.

"Let go! Let me _go!_ Nnoitra! Fuck, fuck, fuck! I hate this! I fucking hate this, let me fucking go!"

I'd never sworn so much in my life. I'd never been so irate in my life. And I've never had such an urge to kill things. If I'd known that that was part of the plan… I'd have killed myself long before I could have set my feet down in Las Noches again.

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**A/N:**_ Do most Authors put an authors note all the time? Oh well. I'm not most authors. Oh god, sorry about the rubbish paragraphing; I'm going to get me a beta person thing. The plan is coming to light! Do you know, I'm not even sure what the bloody hell this plan is myself? I've got a good idea though. Keep reading and reviewing guys! CottonSocks_


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

I stood angered and confused on the sands of Las Noches, fists clutched and face screwed up in bitter antipathy of the things to come. I was beginning to get an idea of what was happening; why else would I have been chucked into such a wide open space? My fingertips brushed evasively on the hilt of my sword, I felt suddenly empowered to have it at my side.

"Looks like she's almost ready, Aizen Taichou." A singsong voice came from the crowd, Numeros clearing to make way for the silver-haired man and his two high-powered companions.

"Not quite, Ichimaru. Not quite." Aizen replied with smug grin on his face. I hadn't even noticed that Nnoitra had followed them in through the crowd, he may be the tallest living thing in Las Noches but I was far too focused on my uncertain future that was about to develop. "Nnoitra… your time is up. You may tell Adoriana."

My eyes suddenly shifted to Nnoitra, who was standing beside Aizen dressed in his old spoon-hooded uniform. I wasn't sure how to feel or what to do; the sight of him dressed exactly how I'd have seen him before I lost him made me want to cry, it was so nostalgic. But it wasn't quite the same, he had an expression of doubt plastered over his face and the atmosphere was sickeningly bland. It was as if every 'living' thing in Las Noches had held its breath, waiting for the secret to be revealed.

An eternity of time seemed to pass as Nnoitra practically dragged his gigantic crescent-shaped weapon across the sands and into the wide empty space I stood in. Not for one second did my eyes leave him, and neither did his leave mine. We were locked on each other, an invisible stream of thoughts running between the two of us like forks of lightning from the sky to the Earth. He was the sky that surrounded me, the inescapable expanse that shrouded my very existence whether I wanted him to or not. And I was the tiny Earth that lay below him, always underneath him no matter where I went or what I did. He could protect me, but at the same time he could strike me with rain, storms, tornados and lightning… and he was standing right in front of me. I loved him. But that look on his face struck an unshakeable fear in me; I almost didn't want him to tell me this 'secret'.

"Adoriana…" He began, his voice croaky and quiet as if he'd just woken up from a deep sleep.

"Don't. Why do you have to tell me? Why can't he… why can't Aizen spit it out himself huh?" My hand suddenly gripped the hilt of my sword fiercely, my focus switching quickly from the ex-Quinta to Aizen standing behind, a smug look of satisfaction sitting slyly on his face. I had never wanted to gouge out someone's eyes so much in my entire life.

"Adoriana, shut up. You've been fuckin' buggin' me all this time to tell ya, and now I am, you're tellin' me not to? Fuck that. We gotta fight." I felt my heart drop to the floor as the last words fell from his mouth… fight. I was convinced I hadn't heard him correctly.

"Who has to fight?"

"You. Me. Fight." He repeated, taking a deep breath and swinging his huge scythe out in front of him, the tips just millimetres away from my face.

"No."

He jabbed it forward slightly, and a tiny bubble of blood appeared on my skin. He meant it. My face screwed up in disgusted disbelief at what Aizen wanted us to do; if he meant us to fight, it would be to the death. For what? For the place of Quinta, no doubt. How sick of him, how completely and utterly twisted to force someone to fight the person they love for a mere rank. I knew Nnoitra would prize that above me, but I… I treasured nothing more than his person. I loved him, and wanted nothing more than to love him with everything I had, even if it meant he didn't love me back.

"Aizen, you sick fuck! You sick, sick fuck! Don't think I'll fight him, not for one second will I raise my sword to his face! Your plan will fail, I refuse, I refuse!" I screamed, tears pouring from my eyes so hard it may as well have been blood.

In return, Aizen simply smiled.

"Tell her, Nnoitra. _Order_ her."

I yelled out a gush of incomprehensible words, realising what he had done. He _knew_ I couldn't refuse Nnoitra's orders; he knew I lived to serve him. My purpose in life was to obey him… it didn't matter that technically, _I_ was Quinta and _I_ held power over him. That was just a label. Really, emotionally, _physically_… I belonged to him. Nnoitra turned slowly to face me.

"Fight me. Now."

What he says… goes.

------------------

**N/A- **_Thanks guys, for bearing with me. Things will be slow, but I'm getting there. This is not everything yet, but are ya'll getting the picture? Hopefully next chapter will be up in the next few weeks. Love you all! CottonSocks_


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: **_Oh god, oh god, oh god. Three months since I last updated, I'm so so unbelievably sorry! Urgh, I'm a terrible person. I've never left it so long. I should never ever leave it this long again. If I don't update in the next three weeks, **please **bug me with PMs and stuff! Feel free to give me evil comments and reviews. It's short I know. Writer's block. Kill me now._

**Chapter 21**

I wanted to throw up. Such a multitude of emotions swimming around in my body, I couldn't seem to separate them and calm myself down. My temperature was soaring madly and I had no idea how to control myself. I knew my anger was completely rational- I _had_ just been asked to fight against the man I loved after all- but I'd never got that angry… _never_. And it felt unbelievably weird. I was known as the quiet, calm one. However I felt like I could snap any second and gouge someone's eyeballs out and shove them in their asshole. Seriously.

Nnoitra had taken a few steps back, however he still seemed miles taller than I was- well, he _was_. I felt my knees weaken at the sight of him wielding his monstrous weapon. In seconds, it was no doubt going to be buried into my side and smothered in my blood. I was going to lose for more than one reason. Firstly, I didn't want to kill him and when your heart isn't in it… it's almost impossible to make a kill. Secondly, Nnoitra is a fuckload stronger than I am. His skin is so strong that even if I happened to be almost as strong as him, I wouldn't be able to cut him.

"C'mon. I ain't standin' here for my health, 'Doriana. Make a fuckin' move already." Nnoitra growled, peering to his left and right and taking an eyeful of the crowd. I wanted to see how many people were watching, however I found my vision stuck solely on the man standing straight in front of me.

"N… no." I replied softly, letting my hand drop a little from its previous stiff position.

"I'm not fuckin' kiddin' around here you dumb fuck!" He yelled, throwing his hands back and letting his huge scythe swing back too, narrowly missing the crowd. "Fucking _hell_, swing ya damn sword at me already!"

"No!" I screamed, hurling my Zanpaktou on the floor. I had no idea what I was doing; I knew full well that in a few seconds I'd be picking it up again and jabbing it at him. Not because I wanted to. Just because… I _had_ to. "I don't get it; if you want to fight, _fine_, fight me! But I'm not going to fight you back! What have I ever done to you to make you feel that this is okay? In fact… what have I _ever_ done wrong! Why does this shit always happen to me!" As I screamed the last few words, I had a strange urge to actually pick up my sword and have a stab. I couldn't work out what I actually wanted to do. And then he looked at me, rolled his eyes and looked to his left. That did it.

"Actually…" I said quietly, picking up my sword and holding it out in front of me, "I will fight you. If you want me to, I will. You obviously don't care whether I live or die, you only care about one thing. And if dying is the only way I can get away from this clearly fucked up situation, then so be it."

All eyes were suddenly on me. A sudden hush set in on the crowd, and even Nnoitra looked surprised.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Aizen with that unnerving smirk on his face, which told me that I was doing exactly what he wanted me to do. I didn't even care anymore. I had no desire to please anyone anymore; I had done it all my life and gained nothing but distress.

"Hurry the fuck up!" I bellowed, stepping forward. "You said you wanted to fight and yet you're not moving. Move!"

"Hey hey, _you_ make a move you fuckin' retard!"

"No, you make a move, asshole!"

"Move bitch!"

"Fuck off, Nnoitra, fuck.."

We were now almost face to face, weapons at our sides, tension higher than ever… and I smiled. And he smiled.

"Ah fuck it." He said, looking up into the air and sighing loudly. I couldn't work out what he was sighing about; was it that he didn't want to fight me? Did he actually… feel something for me? I began to feel the anger subsiding and my usual adoration settle in. And then I felt something else.

Disgustingly warm and sticky blood oozed from my side, accompanied by a sharp unbearable pain. I looked down to see a huge gash in my waist. Nnoitra's scythe was suspiciously covered in my blood, and the smile on his face turned out to be an evil grin.

"Stupid. You've always been stupid, 'Doriana. Who do you think I am, eh? How the fuck dya think I got here in the first fuckin' place? You said it yourself. I don't _love_. So what the fuck made ya think I'd changed my mind, huh?"

Clutching my side, beads of sweat fell from my face just like the blood that had come up my throat and was now dribbling messily down my chin. I wasn't stupid. I was far from stupid. I was simply too naïve. I didn't _mean_ to put my trust in him so readily, but it was almost as if I were programmed to do so. Nnoitra seemed to be a true master at manipulation. But really… any normal person wouldn't have let their guard down so quickly. The heat began prickling inside of me again; I'd been tricked far too many times to be able to let it go. I would not fight with a view of killing Nnoitra. Neither would I fight in order to gain the status of Quinta Espada. I would fight purely… because I was, for the first time in a long time, absolutely livid.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: **_Where have I been, you ask? No where. Right here, with a major case of writers block. I apologise once again, this time profusely, I've been terrible with updating this recently. Ha, there needs to be an Upon **her **Return, especially for me. But none of you bugged me to update it so I got lazy! This is a short chapter. I have some stuff in mind now, so it shouldn't be too long until the next one._

_Enjoy my lovelies. _

**Chapter 22- Beginning of the End**

The most complicated story I've ever heard of is that of my own, I thought, as the blood kept streaming out of me. It seems almost impossibly unrealistic that all of _this_ had happened to _me_. This was some kind of crazy shit that you only thought about happening to other people… _'it will never happen to me'_ I'd think. And yet here I was in the middle of a crowd with my life pouring out of me second by second. To think back over my life was far too much effort. My story had unfolded with a peculiar series of events, but nevertheless… every story must end somewhere. And it was this single truth that spurred me on. No matter how rubbish everything was, and no matter how much my fucking side was hurting… it _would_ come to an end somehow. And I figured, the quicker I fight, the quicker it all ends.

So I shot forward. To the surprise of my opponent and onlookers, I did not fall and quiver in pain as I realised just how deep my wound was. No, instead I charged at Nnoitra like a bull on ecstasy with my sword outstretched and ready to slice. Of course, I never even touched him before being thrown to the floor by his hand and then having my left hand trodden on and crushed. I listened as the bones in my hand crunched loudly and looked up at the perpetrator… how could he? God, he was driving his foot into my hand with as much force as he used to fuck me with; what happened? Who goes from not wanting to share someone with anyone else… to killing them? Who knows what was going through his head. I was trying my hardest not to wonder.

"My hand…" I croaked under my breath, screwing my eyes up in pain. It hurt. _A lot_.

"That'll teach ya not to come stormin' up to me like that again. Fucktard." He withdrew his foot and stood over me, casting a shadow that covered my whole body. He was frightening. But he didn't scare me. The only thing that I ever feared of him was making him unhappy, and seeing as he _wanted_ me to fight… I really had nothing to be afraid of, did I?

"I believe you _ordered_ me to fight, Nnoitra. Why are you punishing me for doing what you asked?" I retorted, wobbling to my feet with one hand clutched around the other. No way could I fight properly now. I had a certain amount of my waist missing, a completely broken hand and of course, the circumstances. At this rate, I'd have to release just minutes into the battle- not a good look at all. This wasn't going to work. I could try with all my might, but I knew… it wouldn't work.

"Thought ya said she was ready, Aizen Taichou?" An irritatingly familiar voice sounded from behind. "'Cause she don't look ready to me, that's for sure." Gin 'stared' at me with his eyes wide shut, dismissing me as the weakling he's always known. But Aizen simply smiled wider and carried on devoting his stare to both me and my black-haired opponent.

Talking of Nnoitra, he had now began casually leaning on his Zanpaktou, lazily letting his eyes fall on me and keeping them there.

"Hmm. No doubts about why I fucked ya in the first place though. Mm." A dirty smile crept onto his face, one that even I didn't recognise. Sure, he liked to grin a lot… but this time, his expression was ice cold, there was absolutely no feeling whatsoever behind his eyes… nothing. I couldn't work him out. I looked, and I looked, but I could _not_ work him out. What was he thinking? Did he really, truly, deeply want to hurt me?

"Is my little Adoriana tired? Do you wanna rest, huh? Does ya hand hurt?" He mocked, cocking his head to the side and laughing as he finished his sentence. I didn't want to reply. No, I didn't know _how_ to reply. Nnoitra's simple and obvious tactic was working, switching from an angry raging beast to a sex-hungry bastard and a patronising asshole in a matter of minutes. He had me completely and utterly confused; whether it was the blood loss or the weird situation that threw me… I really couldn't tell how I was meant to react. I stood there, every few seconds attempting to make out some sort of word that never quite came out, and began to lose all sense of sanity. Don't understand why? Let me explain.

You meet a guy. You fall in love with him. You never _tell_ him how you feel until he dies. For the next five or six months after he dies, you dither in-between depression and confusion. Oh yeah, add in the fact that one of the reasons he died is because you took all his blood (I got his power, right?). Miraculously, he returns to life… everything seems great… and then he beats you up. You think you've had it, and you're not gonna take anymore, but for some reason, you can't make up your mind as to whether he seriously hates you or not. Fucking stabs you in the stomach, fucking crushes your hand, fucking… shit.

"Yes, I'm tired, yes, I want to rest, and yes, my hand does hurt. Do you care? Why are you asking me? What are you doing?" I asked, falling back into the sand with exhaustion.

"Shut up, get up, fight." Was his reply.

Sanity? How long can a person say sane in this situation? Well. I can tell you, through experience.

Not very long at all.


	23. Chapter 23

**A.N: **_Yes, it has been a long time. But shh, enjoy it anyway!_

**Chapter 23**

I don't really remember exactly how I felt at that point. I do remember grins, the malicious faces of the men that stood before me; Nnoitra with his toothy smirk and scythe slung casually over his shoulder, and Aizen with that face that told me that everything was going his way. I remember a dull ache in my stomach, and the way his made me want to throw up because of the way he didn't care _one bit_ about the situation he'd dumped me in, despite my years of loyal service. I remember having a retrospective burst and hundreds of situations in which I'd been thrown into the deep end, where I'd been forced to submit and ended up doing things I didn't want to. I realised that my whole relationship with Nnoitra had simply been made up of unfortunate incidents and being hurt. But what I remember more than anything else from that day is how I snapped. It seemed so loud in my own head, as if some vital connections had actually burst in my brain and left me totally incapable of making rational decisions. My whole body began to shake with anger and confusion, and my eyes felt as if they were going to explode from their sockets.

"You…" I growled quietly, fists tightening so hard around my hilt it may as well have been part of my hand.

"You!" My voice quickly rose from a hush mutter to a somewhat loud roar, until I began screaming.

"You always have your way!" My hand shot upward, flicking my sword high into the air. "You always have your fucking way! Fuck you!" It fell back into my hand, tip facing the sandy ground below me. I seized it quickly, and with every drop of power I had, rammed it into the sand.

"Hineri… AVISPA!"

Tiny grains of sand flew everywhere, and immediately I was engulfed by a solid column of bright green light. This was it. This was really it. I couldn't recall releasing before in front of Nnoitra, and now he would see me as he had never seen me before. However, as the light began to fade, I realised something had changed majorly… I was going to see myself as _I_ had never seen before. The whites of my eyes were black. I've never felt such strength spurt through my body before in my life, I could feel it racing through every inch of me… what was this? Even Nnoitra looked surprised. Beads of sweat appeared on his face, quickly dripping down his cheek and onto the sand.

"What… what the fuck are you?"He muttered, falling back a few steps and gripping his scythe with such a force I was sure he'd snap it. I looked down at myself, tiny grains of sand still whirling around me with the wind that'd blown up when I released. I couldn't answer him. I didn't _know_ what I was. This was absolutely nothing like I'd expected, it might have been a long time since I'd released but… surely it couldn't have changed so much?

"I said, what the fuck are you! Is this some type of shitty joke? Fuck this…" He shouted, eyes looking down on me with nothing but disgust pooling up in them. I could almost feel the contents of my stomach churning, my muscles tensing and my heart thrashing in my chest. A huge clash of emotions smashed together yet again, and I felt myself moving forward. I couldn't explain it if I tried, but I knew for sure that there was one thing I wanted to do, and one thing only. I wanted him to feel _exactly_ the pain he was causing me. The pain he'd somehow made me submit to for countless years as his Fraccion, the pain he'd left me with when he'd 'died', the pain he'd shovelled on me the moment I saw him again… he may not have been capable to understand or even feel emotional pain, but I knew for sure that physical pain was something that every one of us could feel. And he was going to get it.

"Stop moving you little shit, you touch me and you're fucking dead." He growled, whipping his sword through the air and aiming it directly at me, despite the fact I was now rushing towards him with speed I didn't know I had.

"I said… stop fucking moving! You're useless, just 'cause you've got some fuckin' reiatsu you think you can cut me? You think you can _cut_ me!" This time his voice was something between a yell and a scream, not once in my life had I seen him so irate. Perhaps the very thought of being defeated by a woman made him mad. However I'm not just any woman, but I am the woman who he appeared to dominate both mentally and physically since the day we met. To be killed by me would be beyond a humiliating death. And you could see it in his eyes, in his face, in every single movement his body made as the tip of my sword touched his skin, that he finally… felt something.

I felt something too. In fact, every single person who was there felt something, an off-scale explosion of yellow-green light radiated from the space we stood in at an unbelievable rate, my whole body shaking so much that I honestly believed the ground we stood on had become seriously unstable. I felt the air rush out of me as if I actually had no lungs, the power spurting out of me millisecond by millisecond. I watched as almost every drop of strength jumped in tiny snake-like movements from my body to the body kneeling beside me… Nnoitra. The lights were dancing in his eyes, like a yellowy green fire in his pupils. It lasted for about ten seconds, after which I took a huge breath of air and fell forward onto the sand, at Nnoitra's feet. I could barely believe it. I had gathered all that strength, all that courage… only for it all to be returned to the original owner the second it touched him. There was a long moment of silence, everyone not quite believing what had just occurred. Even Nnoitra's eyes fell on me, staring at my somewhat burnt out body for what felt like an eternity. I could hear the silence. There was not much left to do, or say. And so, with no dignity left, no power left, no feelings left, I sat up straight and burst into tears.

It hurt. It hurt _so_ much. I wasn't sure how I was still alive, my skin felt ablaze, my heart was almost failing me, beating only when it could handle it. I'd literally lost everything. Every single thing, gone. I wanted my body to give up right there and then, to just die. I heard Nnoitra finally make a move, turning away from me and walking towards Aizen, who was no doubt still sporting the very same smug expression he had the second we returned to Las Noches from the Gensei. And then, slowly, my hearing began to fail me. I could only just make out Nnoitra's voice, distant and blurred. I only imagined what he was saying. It made me sick.

_"Aizen-sama, I defeated her. It's gone just as you planned. I managed to carry it out, all these years pretending that I actually cared, when really, I knew exactly what I had to do and how I would do it. I don't know why you did it, but I don't care, because I've won and proved how strong I am, that I can defeat someone who even had the power of two of me. She is nothing. She is useless. I'll kill her now."_

Of course, I didn't know for sure that's what he said. But something inside of me told me I should hate him. I should hate Nnoitra with a passion; despise the very air he breathes and the ground he treads on. Slowly, I rose to my feet. One emotion swirled around inside of me, one emotion fuelled me on. I dragged myself, tiny step by tiny step towards my destroyer, sword clutched tightly in my hand. I had to end this. I _had_ to, if it was the last thing I did. I would kill him, and then die.

He hadn't seen me approach him. He hadn't felt me, because my reiatsu was more or less nonexistent. He hadn't even thought that I might stand up and end it all. That is, not until I sunk my sword into his back, driving it though him with every drop of strength I had left. I heard him scream, his voice deep but smothered in shock and disbelief. I fell to my knees once again, Nnoitra turning to face me with blood pouring from his middle and his mouth. He too fell, facing me straight on. Aizen laughed.

"I think we have a winner."


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

The beginning of the end… had ended before it had even begun. This could have been his only chance to tell her. It could have been her last chance to remind him. But both being so overwhelmed with the urge to say something, _anything_, neither ended up saying anything at all. She watched him fall, heart beating faster than what was thought humanly possible, feeling as if it were in her throat. He watched her cry, the tears rolling down her cheeks and the mournful wail sounding from her mouth, clear and sharp. And as each one settled their eyes upon the other, the more they refused to acknowledge that this was in fact the last time they would be together.

She was determined to prove to herself that she hated him, hated him with every inch of her body. But there was no force behind it anymore; the line between love and hate was far too fragile and she knew full well which side she stood on as in regards to Nnoitra. No matter how hard she tried to loathe him, every single time she thought about him, saw him, heard about him, touched him, smelt him… all the emotions rushed back and flooded her again. There was absolutely no doubt about it. She loved him. And this was almost more than a fact… it was a law. A rule. If she did not love him, then this was not reality, and nothing else existed. Adoriana knew it, and she always had known it from the very moment he looked at her with those eyes full of lust. And those eyes had not changed one little bit.

He was almost certain that it was impossible for him to feel that emotion. He was created to kill, to be violent, to hate and to spill the blood of others. But somewhere inside that beast was a deep longing to protect something, some_one_, with every last drop of power he had. He looked at her and felt his previously rock hard heart crack a little, as if someone had managed to wring sharp little threads around it and pulled them strongly. She was small, she was weak, she was naïve and too willing to do anything to make him happy. So technically, according to the way he systematically worked, he should hate her as he hates every other living thing and treat her as such. But try as he might, he could not. She sat right in front of him, weapon less, dirty and face soaked in tears. There couldn't have been a more perfect opportunity to stick his sword through her stomach and gain some dignity in killing his killer. However for the first time in his life… he didn't care about the glory. The strongest? He already _knew_ he was the strongest. There was no further desire in him to prove it. There was only one thing he had a desire for at that moment, and it was Adoriana.

(Nnoitra's POV)

I couldn't believe that it was over. I mean, fuck, I knew some serious shit'd go down, but I didn't think that it'd end that soon… I got this weird feelin' goin' on in my stomach. And it weren't the sword that was runnin' right through me that was hurtin'. This is gonna sound so fuckin' mushy but… I was lookin' right into her eyes, and I couldn't see anything' at all. It was like she weren't even there. Could I really have fucked her up that badly? I swear, it looked like she would never stop cryin'. I can usually work her out jus' by lookin' at her but this time… she really looked like she'd _never_ stop cryin, until she just died.

_Fuck_. She really gonna die. Wait; why the fucking fuck do I care? I'm gonna pissin' die first anyway. Ahh… but you should'a seen her. I wouldn't even have been able say goodbye properly. She looked so fuckin' _empty_. I really fucked up this time huh. Not that I had a choice. Aizen came over to further fuck up the situation, typical bastard. He had his hand on her. He was talking to her.

"Adoriana, do you know what Nnoitra was saying to me?"

She carried on crying.

"He was stating that since he had had his power restored, that you simply go back to being his Fraccion and the fight be ended at once. I would have gladly granted him this. But you've killed him now. What a shame."

She stopped crying. Adoriana slumped, I thought'd she'd actually just died in front of me… then I noticed her fists were still clenched. All of a sudden, she threw her head back and screamed. I gotta admit, I've never heard something like it in my entire fuckin' life. How she manages to make these noises, I don't know. All I know is every single thing that she does kinda amazes me. Everyone watchin' did a double take- she was near dead one second, and the next she's belting out some insane noise as if she'd never been so alive in her life. Her hands were on her head now, almost pullin' out her hair in frustration.

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!" She yelled, over and over again… fuck, she's startin' to sound like me. I like that. She managed to get to her feet somehow, grabbing the sword that was stuck through me and yanking it with all she had left in her. It hurt like a fuckin' bitch. All I could think about was the sounds she was making though; so loud, so emotional, like she couldn't even deal with her feelings and shit. I dunno. I don't really understand all of that emotional crap. Which makes Adoriana the exact opposite to me. So… why the fuck do I want her so much? The sword came out, and so did the blood. There wasn't much left to do but die. I didn't really give a shit anymore anyway; the only thing to live for, Adoriana, was probably gonna die seconds after me anyway.

Or so I thought.

**A/N: **_Thought I'd do Nnoitra's point of view for once in my life; besides, writing as Adoriana in emotional-mode is bloody difficult, haha. Anyway, it's all getting quite 'epic' soon, so bear with me my lovelies. CottonSocks_

_P.S reviews and comments encourage me to write it quicker ;) Cheeky._


	25. Chapter 25 FINALLY UPDATED!

**Yes, that's right... I ACTUALLY UPDATED MY STORY, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? IT'S LIKE A PARADOX (what is a paradox?). **

_Anyway, yeah, I finally managed to squeeze this out of my dry crusty brain. I'm super pleaesed. And no, this is not the last chapter, but definately close to it. So... yeah, read it and weep; it's basically everything you ever really wanted to know explained! The next chapter(s) will just be to round it off so, hopefully they shouldn't be too difficult to write. But yeah... don't get your hopes up._

_**I love you all, thank you for reading this story so far, and if you're actually still reading... WOW you're awesome.**_

_**E N J O Y! **_

**Chapter (what the hell chapter is this anyway? 508383?)**_**  
**_

For the first time in my life, the emotion ruling my movements was deep ridden guilt. Guilt for killing the man I undoubtedly loved guilt for going against my better judgment, guilt for absolutely fucking up everything. To be fair, the situation was pretty fucked up before. But now… now I knew for sure that I had been wrong. Nnoitra wasn't like that. He'd get power off his _own_ back; he wouldn't have gonna along with Aizen's shitty little plan just to get his power back. And as I stood there, tugging the sword from his back with all the power left in me, I realized that it wasn't just me who had been completely confused this entire time. So perhaps he'd found out somehow that we'd have to end it like this… but not once did he show total willingness to it. He told me to fight him, but only _after_ Aizen had prompted him to do so. The one difference is this. He accepts things without questioning them. He realized that there was no going against what was decided, whether he was the 'strongest' or not. Me… me on the other hand, I simply can't. How could I ever come to accept that I have to _kill_ Nnoitra? That's just madness. It's like telling a mother to kill her child, telling a loving wife to murder her husband… and for no particular reason to top it all.

I wanted so badly for everything to revert to the way it used to be, when I could just potter around Las Noches like the little useless Fraccion I really am, and just do little things that'd make Nnoitra somewhat happy. That's all I lived for. I could see no possible positives that would come from finishing Nnoitra off… in fact the best thing that could happen to me at that very point would have been to curl up and die. At least then I could have left life with happy memories swirling around in my head. And I guess that's what would have happened for me, if it weren't for almost unexplainable event that took place next.

Never having died before (obviously), I simply thought the disgustingly unfamiliar feeling welling up inside me was in fact death taking over me. I hunched forward, gulping down air like water and squeezing my eyes shut, not wanting to feel anything anymore. There was a long pause; onlookers just waiting for us both to die and Aizen getting ready to return to his almighty throne… and then, BANG. All eyes shot straight back to where we were. My entire body had lit up, as if I were in flames. But I was not burning. A piercing green light surrounded me, beaming out from every inch of my body… and through Avispa. I looked down at my hands, one clenching my sword and the other wide open with this energy flowing out at the speed of light… what the hell was happening? I'd never seen any other Arrancar or Espada die like this. The light worked its way up Avispa, getting brighter and brighter until it reached the tip… then it jumped, like a bolt of lightning, to Nnoitra. He tried to shake it off but he was too weak; it quickly took over his entire body until the both of us were simply standing in the sand completely smothered in this light. I stared at him. The blood that was dripping down his stomach was receding… it couldn't be? My mind instantly switched back to the day he 'died', what had happened when Kenpachi hit me with Santa Teresa… I remembered. It was the light. It was the _energy_, the _power_… the switch. I could _feel_ it, every drop of what had entered me that day, leaving me, like the atoms that made me up were splitting in two and actually leaving me. It didn't hurt. In fact, I began smiling. Even if this caused _me_ to die, at least Nnoitra would be getting back everything his body gave me when he 'died' the last time. This was incredible. I'd never heard or seen this phenomenon before… the instinctive sharing of power when the other half is in extreme danger. It just wasn't the nature of hollow, Arrancar or Espada to do such a selfless thing _instinctively_… to save the other. I began thinking, as the light began to wear off, that perhaps this had to do with why I loved him so much. Maybe I really was made this way. It wasn't my fault.

Seconds later, I fell to the ground, gasping for breath and glancing over at the man who now held more or less all my spiritual energy. He stood tall, proud and almost glowing, not one scratch on his gloriously masculine body. I smiled and rested my head on the sand. If I tried to ignore the absolute exhaustion I felt, I could actually feel _myself_ again. Just like the old days. What was left in me was all I had, it was really me.

The crowd was whispering, absolutely unable to grasp what had just taken place. Aizen looked somewhat speechless. The fury on his face spoke for him, though. Szayel simply stood there, pushing his glasses closer to his face and laughing.

"Absolutely incredible. Just the way you were created, although I wasn't sure you'd work! Such a beautiful creation of mine!" He cried, looking extremely smug.

"What is this! Szayel, explain, immediately!" Aizen yelled, not moving from where he stood.

Szayel walked towards me and bent down, stroking my hair. It was kinda weird.

"Do you not remember, Aizen-sama, when you asked me to create such a being? An Arrancar that has the ability to heal the Espada at speed if necessary… of course, you didn't specify much, and so I created Adoriana." He said, pulling a little tube of liquid from out of what seemed to be nowhere and putting it to my lips. "Drink this. Seeing as you're a success, I can't have you dying of exhaustion now, can I?"

But Aizen wasn't satisfied.

"Szayel. Explain _fully_ what just happened? I have a plan in mind, but I need to know the full story in order to put it to work." He stated, setting everyone's eyes rolling again at the idea of yet another one of his crazy plans.

"Right. Adoriana has been created with a human level of emotions, unlike the other Arrancar. This is because most of her powers are activated by emotions; I thought it'd be interesting to see how that worked out. Obviously, not too well judging by the first incident she caused many many years ago…"

I figured he was talking about the thing Ulquiorra wouldn't tell me that time. I couldn't really be bothered to ask what happened though… although Nnoitra had differed thoughts.

"Heh, you mean that time when she got all pissed off with some random Arrancar thing and blew half of fuckin' Hueco Mundo up? Fuck, that was hilarious."

Well. I definitely didn't remember that.

"What? I didn't do that." I mumbled, sipping down the disgustingly sweet potion Szayel gave me.

"Yes, you did. It was shortly after I created you and released you, a very _very_ long time ago. Before you became friendly with Urika even. But the less about that, the better. You almost killed yourself, and a member of the Espada." Szayel explained. Aizen was getting agitated.

"Continue with what I _asked_, Szayel."

"Yes. Anyway. You were created with the power to connect with _one_ Espada… which one it would be was not predetermined. I must admit, I was very surprised that it happened to be Nnoitra. The moment you felt emotionally connected with this Espada, your body was immediately prepared to give itself to preserve their life. _That_ is why you're created with a human level of emotions, or else it would have been somewhat difficult to make that connection. What I didn't plan for however, was the sharing of energy to go both ways… I was surprised when Nnoitra had that… ahem, _mishap_, that his energy was transferred to you. But look, it has all worked out in the end has it not? You are a masterpiece!"

I took a deep breath. It was hard to take in… I was created as a test? I was the only one of my type. It made me feel… relieved, that it wasn't _my_ fault for feeling the way I did.

"Ah. I understand now. Well… in that case… my plan _will_ work. Bring Adoriana and Nnoitra inside immediately. There is a lot of discussion to be done."

I stood up a little too quickly and crashed sideways into Nnoitra… looking up at him, his eyes were already on me.

"So. We were meant to be huh? Pfft, what a load of shit, I chose ya in the first place, you didn't choose me." He mumbled, knocking me to the side. I suddenly felt a little afraid… and then he grabbed my hand.

"Huh? What are you doing…" I asked timidly, backing off a little. But he held my hand tightly and pulled me back beside him.

"I said, I chose you. That means you're _mine_, bitch. And according to candy-floss over there, you ain't ever getting with any other one of us Espada so… guess I'm stuck with you for the rest of my life eh?" He said, squeezing my hand a little smiling at me. Yes that's right… he _smiled._

And all of a sudden… nothing, absolutely nothing mattered anymore. I don't know about love, but there was something that we actually shared that no other person could ever steal away from us. And I could feel the way he was looking at me was for once, not a look of lust… but it was if he actually _wanted_ to be with me. I think that despite what had just happened to me… despite the past gazillion years of pain and confusion… I was actually happy.


End file.
